


Chiaroscuro

by FarmlandTensions



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:50:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarmlandTensions/pseuds/FarmlandTensions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>18-year-old art student Eren Jaeger's life starts to change when his class gets a new life drawing model.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Model

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, i'm terrible at this and I'm not sure why I'm posting but I have ideas for at least a few chapters so eugh.

I wanted to make games. That was the dream.

It had started when I was about five, and Nintendo consoles were my life. As I learned more about them growing up, I decided I wanted to be a programmer. A short-lived dream that was dropped as I flunked math test after math test. Armin had helped, giving me notes and spending long hours trying to drill formulae into my thick skull. But even when I was passing, it was pretty obvious that I’d never excel in a field that required even basic knowledge of mathematics.

I was a pretty determined little shit though. I thought about writing the scripts for games, but I’d played so many at that point that any idea I came up was less than original. And that’s how I’d settled on the visuals.

I still hadn’t fully decided what I wanted to do. Be it background design, character design, 3D modelling, textures, concept art, or animation. I still wasn’t sure which I was best at, but luckily I’d gotten myself into an art college that let me test all sorts of classes for the first year before I had to decide on a major.

Mikasa had been accepted too. I think initially she applied to be close to me, but she ended up choosing a lot of different classes to me, and she seemed to really enjoy her course. And I was certainly happy for that. We still hung out a lot, and got our lunches together most days. Though we weren’t living together at the moment. Being a little too poor to properly rent out an apartment, we were both currently staying in accommodation on campus, which meant gender-segregated buildings.

But it was fine, and we were both pretty happy with how things were going.

\-------------------------------------

Three months into the course, I still hadn’t decided on what aspect of game design I wanted to focus on. I enjoyed it all, and I was pretty good at most of it, without being particularly great at anything. But I was good enough that I knew once I focused my attention and determination on one aspect I could do really well in it... I just needed to figure out which one that was.

I groaned inwardly as my alarm went off. As much as I enjoyed my classes, I was not a morning person. And playing games on my laptop until 3am probably didn’t help that.

“Good morning, Eren!”

My roommate was a morning person. Which was a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he was too damn nice to let me sleep through my alarm and miss important lessons, and a curse because he always looked bright and cheery while I was groggy and half-dead.

“Mornin’ Marco.”

I stretched, not getting out from under my covers yet, and let out a long yawn. I stayed lying down for a bit, keeping my eyes closed as I waited for my brain to kick into gear. Eventually I sat up. I rubbed at my eyes and ran my hands through my perpetually messy hair. I sighed heavily before I got up and ready for classes.

\---------------------------------------

The morning was pretty uneventful. I had a comics class which was supposed to be about building a story and showing the pace through the size of the panels, but it quickly devolved into shabby doodles of people shooting at each other while I half paid attention.

I grabbed a sandwich in the cafeteria for lunch and ate with Mikasa as usual. And then I got going for my afternoon figure-drawing class.

Life drawing is one of those classes where you’re either in the zone or not. Some days I can churn out drawing after drawing of fluid-looking movements and it feels like they might just walk off the page – other days I get rough, forced shapes that barely look human.

Today I did not feel in the zone. But I was determined to do the best I could.

I got to class a few minutes early and set up my easel, then sat in a corner and whipped out my phone. I texted Armin first, my go-to person for killing time even now that we were in separate colleges. After waiting a minute or two for him to respond, I switched to playing one of the many stupidly addictive games I had downloaded.

I’d only been here three months, but in that whole time we’d only ever had one figure drawing model. He was old and wrinkled and practically skeletal. The first couple of classes had felt pretty weird, and I wondered if everyone else found him as gross to look at as I did. But I got used to him pretty quick, and he was actually a really nice guy. I’d heard another class had a girl a couple of times, and I’d kind of wondered if we were ever going to have her too, but at this point I actually felt like I was weirdly attached to Kevin, and having another model would make me miss him.

I barely even noticed the rest of the class filling up as I played on my phone. I heard some gasps and giggles but I was in no way bothered to find out what people were giggling at. It was probably just some gossip one of the girls had picked up.

I didn’t even look up when my teacher started speaking, deciding I’d finish up this level before getting to work.

I stood up as I put my phone away and moved to my easel, sorting my supplies as I caught on to the end of a sentence.

“- but fortunately we managed to find someone else on short notice, so I want you all to do your very best today to make this visit worthwhile.”

I looked up and froze.

There was a man standing naked in the middle of the room, but it certainly was not Kevin. He looked about half his age at least, and instead of the stick thin arms and little bot pelly, he was perfectly toned, perfectly muscled, perfectly... perfect. I looked over every inch of him slowly before I realised what I was doing and brought my gaze back to my easel, trying and failing to fight back a blush.

I tried to snap out of it and told myself that I probably wasn’t going to get a chance to draw someone who wasn’t Kevin again for a while, and that I should probably try  to really get the most out of this that I could.

I started with rough sketches, watching how his muscles moved as he slipped into different poses elegantly. I tried to capture that fluidity and how he controlled every movement perfectly. And as we got longer and longer poses, I took it upon myself to do some charcoal studies. I watched the way the light fell on him, the shadows that defined his muscles and highlighted his perfect facial features. I became so engrossed in replicating his perfection that I didn’t notice my tutor walking around behind me and looking at the pieces I’d laid out on the floor, careful not to smudge them before I could apply fixative at the end of class.

“Wow, Eren, these are really... sensual...”

I started and blushed profusely. I glanced around the room, and relaxed a little when I saw that none of my classmates had heard or bothered to look up.

“T-thanks,” I muttered before going back to my latest piece.

I looked up at his face again as I went to continue where I left off, and froze when I saw him looking directly at me. I’d been so worried about my classmates noticing my flushed face that I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of him seeing me. I stared wide-eyed, my heart thumping in my chest and my hand frozen less than an inch from my page. His beady grey-blue eyes pierced mine, and I felt like he was looking straight into my soul. Time seemed to stop and I couldn’t say how long he held my gaze, but my heart did a little flutter when he smirked before turning his eyes to look back at whatever fixed point he’d chosen to focus on for the pose.

I tried to steady my breath as my face felt more heated than ever, and swallowed before resuming my drawing.

I coated all my drawings with fixative as soon as the class ended, then rolled them up and escaped from the room as quickly as I could. 


	2. Private Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath in Eren's mind of his first encounter with Levi.

I walked away from the figure drawing studio with significantly more speed than usual, determined to get as far away as possible, before I finally stopped to get a hold of my thoughts and figure out where I was headed. I felt a buzz in my pocket as I panted lightly for breath. I took my phone out and opened up the new message.

_Hey, sorry, I was in class! What’re u up to today? Wanna hang out?_

I didn’t see Armin half as much as I would like these days, but when we did meet up it was like no time had passed at all. I was pretty glad our friendship was like that. We’d gone to school together for years so I’d been a bit nervous when we were finally separated, and it was a relief to know it didn’t really change anything.

_Yeah, sure! Remind me to tell you bout my ld class_

If I was going to tell anyone about my little  incident it was going to be Armin. We shared practically every detail of our lives, and had done so for as long as I could remember. I could trust him to remind me better than I could trust myself to bring it up.

_Why? what did that old dude do to u?_

_Nothing, I’ll tell ya bout it l8r_

_U can come over now if youre free_

I stood for a moment to contemplate my schedule. It was Wednesday, right? I only had independent studio time after life drawing, and I didn’t really need to be in the studio for that since I was mainly working from my laptop.

_Sure! b there soon_

 ---------------------------------------

Armin’s apartment wasn’t too far from my college. It was a clear enough day, so I decided to walk instead of relying on public transport. I’d always kind of liked walking places by myself anyway, it made thinking easier.

We hugged and chatted about classwork while we sat on the floor by his bed and played PS3 games. I got so immersed in regular conversation and catching up that I completely forgot about the life drawing model. I must have been there for a couple of hours before he brought it up.

“So what happened in life drawing?”

“Huh?”

I was paying more attention to the game than to what he was saying.

“You told me to remind you to tell me about life drawing.”

I frowned as I tried to recall what I’d meant to tell him.

“Oh yeah...” I blushed a little as the memory came back.

The game paused and he stared at me.

“Oh my god. You’re _blushing_. What the _hell_ , Eren? You have to tell me now.”

I cleared my throat.

“Man I don’t even know why I’m nervous about this, it’s not like anything really happened.” I took a deep breath as Armin rolled his eyes. “We had a new model today-“

“And she was hot?” He cut across me.

“And _he_ was hot,” I corrected, blushing a little harder, “And he fucking smirked at me when Zoë said my drawings were sensual.”

He blinked at me. “Sensual.”

“Sensual.”

He glanced over at my rolled up drawings on his bed, and then back to me. He suddenly leapt across the room and began unrolling them before I could stop them. He was half laughing but stopped once he unrolled the collection of drawings and stared at the last one I drew.

I shifted nervously where I sat as he studied it, open-mouthed.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding.”

“About it being sensual or him being hot?”

He raised his eyebrows. “You know I’m not into guys, but... both.” He paused for a minute. “He was looking right at you too, huh?”

I glanced away as my face heated up, “Well, no, only for a minute after he heard her calling them... you know.”

Armin blew some air out his mouth.

“Those are some intense eyes.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s just get back to the game, okay?”

“Okay...” he said half-heartedly, still studying the drawing. He snapped out of it after a minute or two and came back to sit beside me.

We played games for another hour and a half before I left to walk back to my dorm.

“Do you think he’ll model for you guys again?”

I turned back to him, halfway out the door, and shrugged.

“Who knows.”

\----------------------------------------------------

 

I was so nervous about my next life drawing class I was almost late.

I’m not even sure why I was nervous. Because the model we had last week was hot? It’s not like he was the first hot guy I’d ever seen. Was it because of how he looked at me? How he smiled? Someone shouldn’t do this much damage to my head after only seeing them once, especially since we didn’t even interact.

And yet I felt a surge of nervous energy as I pushed the door open, and an even bigger surge of disappointment when I saw Kevin in the middle of the room.

I trudged over to an easel and set up my stuff. I don’t know why I was expecting the other model to be here again anyway. From what little I’d picked up on of the tutor’s talk before class last week, he’d only been a temporary replacement anyway, and a last minute one at that.

“Good afternoon everyone!”

Zoë was way too cheery for someone who taught young adults.

“Before we start class today, I wanted to let you all know that Levi left his number here for anyone who wants to arrange to do some extra drawing in his studio. If you’d like to get in contact with him, let me know at the end of class!”

I had no idea what she was talking about.

I leaned over to the easel next to me and whispered.

“Psst, Annie, who’s Levi?”

She rolled her eyes at me.

“Do you ever fucking listen to anything, Jaeger? He was the model we had last week while Kevin was sick.”

I turned my head quickly before she could see my eyes widening. He’d left his _number?_ And was inviting us to do extra drawing in his studio? What kind of studio did he have? Was he an artist himself? My head was suddenly brimming with questions, and I decided I was most definitely going to ask for his number after class.

\----------------------------------------

Life drawing class seemed to go by slower than usual. I went up to Zoë as soon as the class had ended to ask for Levi’s number.

“Ah, Eren! I’m glad you’re taking this opportunity – your drawings of Levi were great last week! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you capture Kevin so well, maybe Levi can be your muse!”

I fought back a blush as I laughed an agreement, and left quickly afterwards.

I pulled out my phone to save the number she’d just given me, and then sent a text to Armin.

_Guess whose number I just got???_

The reponse was instant.

_There is no way you got mr hottie’s number_

I grinned to myself.

_You bet I did!_

_So he was there again?_

I hesitated for a minute before texting back a simple _No._

_Wait, then how did u get his no? Don’t tell me u asked ur ld teacher for it_

_I didn’t have to, he told her to give it out to anyone who wanted private lessons ;)_

That wasn’t entirely true, and it was likely if people were going that he’d get a group of us there at once so he wouldn’t have to have us there at different times. I definitely wasn’t the only one who’d asked for his number, though I was probably the only guy who had.

_Do u think he did that for u? I mean if he seriously looked at u the way u drew..._

I stopped walking so suddenly that someone almost walked into me from behind. I hadn’t even considered that. There was no way that was the case... was there? I shook my head. Armin was only toying with me anyway.

_Very funny_

_\--------------------------------------------------_

I’d been pacing my dorm room for at least half an hour. I really should make the call before Marco got back, especially if I was going to be a red-faced mess. Maybe I should just text, that way I wouldn’t have to actually talk to him.

But what it Armin was right? It would be much easier to pick up on that kind of thing if I could actually hear his voice. I finally took a deep breath and hit the call button.

It rang four times.

“Hello?”

I froze. I’d forgotten I never heard his voice when I met him. That voice was like chocolate. Silky smooth, and it made me want to melt on the spot. Was anything about this guy _not_ perfect?

I swallowed as quietly as I could and tried to keep my voice steady.

“Uh, hi, is this Levi?”

There was silence on the phone for a second.

“Yeah, it is. Who’s this?”

“It’s uh... I’m Eren Jaeger, I’m in um, in the class you modelled for last week. In Trost University.”

There was a soft chuckle on the other end of the line. Sounds that sexy should be illegal.

“Mr. Sensual, right?”

I clenched my eyes shut, glad he couldn’t see the mortification on my face. I couldn’t even bring myself to answer.

“You calling about setting up a time to draw in my studio?”

I swallowed hard.

“Uh, yeah. If that’s okay with you.”

“Not a problem, kid. A couple of other students already arranged a session with me. How’s Friday evening sound? Around seven?”

I nodded before realising he couldn’t see me.

“Yeah,” I squeaked, “that sounds great.”

“See you then.”

I kept the phone to my ear even after he hung up, breathing heavily.

There was no way one guy should be able to do that to me. Especially one I didn’t even know.

I dropped the phone suddenly when it buzzed against my ear. I’d literally jumped in shock and it took a second before it registered in my mind that I had gotten a text. I picked up the phone and read “1 new message from Levi”. It contained the address of his studio, and I groaned at my own stupidity in not even thinking to ask for it while he was on the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got the next couple of chapters planned out properly, but I'm still working through ideas for where to go after those. Thinking of maybe doing a chapter or two from Levi's POV but I'm not 100% certain yet.


	3. Levi's Studio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to Levi's studio for his "private lesson".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna leave this until Wednesday, but I decided to post it now so I can get some feedback based on notes at the bottom.

I was so afraid of getting lost on my way to the studio that I ended up arriving twenty minutes early. I planned to hang around outside until someone else from the class showed up, but I was only standing there a few minutes before Levi himself appeared to open up.

We had an awkward moment of silent eye contact before he broke it.

“Punctual. I like that.”

He didn’t say anything more before he unlocked the door and gestured for me to go inside. Part of me wanted to protest and say I’d wait for the others, but I didn’t want to appear rude and I nodded briefly before walking in.

The room I walked into wasn’t quite what I was expecting. I probably would have known if I’d been actually paying attention on the day he was in our class, but it wasn’t an art studio – it was a dance studio. I tried not to look too surprised, after all I didn’t want him to know I’d decided to come here without even knowing what here was.

“I don’t have any easels in here, so you’ll have to work off the floor or your lap.”

He gestured broadly to a space near the exercise mats where a couple of couches had been set up to face the area he was presumably going to pose on. Or dance on. I wasn’t sure yet which he was doing.

“O-okay.”

I sat down on one of the couches, tossing my bag down beside me and rooting through it for my sketch pad and materials. When I looked back up, he had stripped off his jacket and was stretching on the mat in front of me in a tight t-shirt that clung to his form and a pair of loose tracksuit bottoms.

“You don’t mind if I keep my clothes on, do you?”

I fought back a blush and shook my head.

“I figured you can draw me stretching and maybe get some gesture drawing done while I do a bit of practise. If you really want I can strip down after to pose, or I’ve got that.”

My gaze followed the direction his thumb had jerked in on his last word, and my breath hitched in my throat when I spotted the pole in the middle of the room. Had he just offered to pole dance for me? I guessed it was probably pretty good exercise and it must have taken a lot of strength and practise, but the thought of watching him pole dance...

I shook my head to dismiss the thought. I brought my gaze back to the man stretching in front of me, and pulled out a pencil to start sketching.

I got a lot of quick studies done of him stretching, as well as some longer sketches of stretches he held for a while. When he started dancing, I just stared at first, completely entranced, and then I felt overwhelmed with a desire to capture the beauty of his movements and tried to get them down in pencil, pen, and charcoal, trying desperately to make the images on my page look even half as free as the beautiful man in front of me.

It was only when I filled up my first sketchbook entirely that I suddenly became aware of the fact that we’d been there a long time without anyone else showing up. I pulled out my phone to check the time, only to see that it was over an hour after we’d agreed to meet.

I cleared my throat and he looked over at me.

“Um, should we check outside to see if anyone else arrived?”

I caught a glimpse of a smirk playing on his lips before he answered.

“They had to reschedule for another day. It’s just you and me tonight.”

“W-what?” I stammered, gaping at him.

“I said it’s just the two of us. Now do you want me to strip or use the pole?”

I thought I detected a hint of playfulness in his expression as he spoke, and for a moment I was tempted to say _both._ Instead, I was too flustered to say anything at all as I continued to stare at him.

He rolled his eyes at me, and walked towards the pole. As he started to pull down his tracksuit bottoms, I thought my wish had been granted, until I saw the tight leggings he wore underneath them. Well, they were almost as good anyway.

I stood up from the couch and moved to sit on the floor closer to where he was now, watching in awe as he seemingly effortlessly lifted himself onto the pole. I could see his muscles moving, see the precision with which he positioned himself so that he could hold himself in place with just one leg, watched as he slowly and determinedly changed from pose to pose as I tried to replicate his movements, looking for the weight and the tension, emphasising the effort that went into making it look so easy.

This wasn’t cheesy and crude like some stripper out of a movie. This was elegant and strong and agile and _perfect_. And it was all for me.

I cursed him silently for not holding any one pose long enough for me to get a full study, but I realised it must have used a lot of strength and willpower to even hold for as long as he was. The only way to tell how taxing it was by looking at him was the way he had to wipe the sweat off the pole after every couple of poses, tucking his handkerchief back into the waistband of his leggings quickly every time.

After being silent for most of the night, I decided to finally speak up. I cleared my throat again first, but this time he didn’t look at me.

“Are... are there any poses you can do on there that you can hold for a long time? I’d like to draw you... in detail.”

He glanced down at me and seemed to give it some thought.

“I can’t hold my weight on here for too long without slipping and burning my skin,” he hesitated for a moment, but continued, “but I could do some poses on the ground for you.”

I accepted his offer, and he lowered himself from the pole and stripped off his t-shirt, leaving his leggings on, and took a seat on the mat in front of me before getting into a pose. I took a deep breath and pulled out a fresh stick of charcoal before getting to work.

I did three ten-minute drawings of him and then one last fully detailed piece that took forty minutes.

When I stopped and said I really needed to get going because I had to walk back to my dorm, he insisted on driving me, but asked if he could look at my drawings first. I passed over all the drawings I’d done, and he looked through each and every one of them, the somewhat cold expression on his face never changing. I felt my palms grow sweaty as I watched him silently scrutinize my work, beginning to worry that he hated them and felt I’d wasted his time.

His gaze lingered longer on the last few drawings, and eventually he broke the silence.

“I can see why she called them sensual.”

I felt my cheeks flushing as I mumbled a quick thank you, unsure of what to say.

He stood up and pulled his clothes back on without saying another word, and I sprayed fixative where needed and packed up my stuff hastily, but careful enough so as not to damage any of my work.

He didn’t bother to wait for me as I was packing up so I had to run after him. When I caught up with him, he was standing outside holding the door open for me. I stepped through and mumbled a thanks as he closed and locked the door behind me. He trudged off in the direction he’d come from earlier, and I followed close behind him. He pulled a set of keys from his pocket and a car in front of us made a soft beeping when he pressed a button on his fob. I climbed into the passenger’s side, dumping my bag between my legs as I pulled my seatbelt on.

“You live on campus?”

“Yeah.”

He pulled out and we stayed silent for the first few minutes of the journey.

“So... how did you get into dance?” I asked quietly.

He shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road.

“I used to do martial arts as a teenager, but they said I got too violent when I was angry. Dance was just a calmer outlet that used the same muscles.”

We fell back into silence as I mulled over his words.

“You aiming to be a penniless artist when you grow up?”

I huffed and shot him a glare.

“I want to be a game designer.”

He seemed to think about it for a minute.

“That could be cool.”

That was it for our conversation, until we reached my dorm building. I hesitated with my hand on the door handle, wondering if I should ask if he’d intentionally set it up so I’d be the only one there tonight. He answered the question without me having to ask.

“Give me a call if you want to do this again. Or... something else.”

Suddenly my heartbeat was louder than I could bear. I managed to stammer out a “Sure, thanks” before I scrambled out of the car and scurried into the building, leaning my back against a wall once I got inside and breathing heavily.

What the _hell_ was I supposed to do now?

I ran up the stairs to my floor, not bothered waiting on the elevator, and slipped quietly in the door, knowing Marco was the kind of person who got to sleep early.

I slung my bag down on the floor and sat at my desk, quickly turning my laptop on and opening up Skype. I resisted the urge to tap my fingers on the desk as I waited for it to load, and sighed in relief when I saw Armin was online. I didn’t even have time to type out a message before he started a conversation.

**armout:** _Well, how was your date? :p_  
 **jaegrr:** _Confusing  
_ **armout:** _Oh really? How so?_

I stared at the screen for a moment and wondered where to start.

**jaegrr:** _For starters, I was the only one there_  
 **armout:** _Oh?_  
 **armout:** _Did no one else call him?  
_ **jaegrr:** _... He said they had to reschedule_

**armout:** _Oh REALLY?_

I grinned a little.

**armout:** _How convenient_  
 **armout:** _Did he ask you to model too?_  
 **jaegrr:** _No, but he pole danced_  
 **armout:** _..._  
 **armout:** _are you fucking serious_  
 **armout:** _why did you even go home after that_  
 **jaegrr:** _It was just for me to draw... I think_  
 **armout:** _yeah right_  
 **jaegrr:** _Though he uh...  
_ **armout:** _he...?_

I swallowed and took a deep breath

**jaegrr:** _He told me to call him if I wanted to do it again...  
_ **jaegrr:** _“Or something else”_

I watched the little status telling me “armout is typing” for a few minutes, sure he was rewriting something rather than writing anything long.

**armout:** _holy shit_  
 **jaegrr:** _yeah  
_ **armout:** _... How old is this guy?_

I frowned. I hadn’t much thought about his age, and I certainly hadn’t thought to ask him. He looked quite young, though that could be at least partly because he had a rather short stature. He was definitely older than I was, judging by how his talking about when he was a teenager sounded like a memory from at least a few years ago.

**jaegrr:** _Uh..._  
 **jaegrr:** _Older than us, younger than Kevin_  
 **armout:** _..._  
 **armout:** _that’s a gap of like 50 years eren  
_ **armout:** _you’re going to have to be a little more specific_

I wrung my head in my hands and held back a groan.

**jaegrr:** _I honestly have no fucking idea_

There was no response for a while, and I didn’t know what else to say, so I just waited until Armin finally wrote back.

**armout:** _Do you think he just wants to fuck you?_

**jaegrr:** _I don’t know..._

I thought for a second and took a deep breath before continuing.

**jaegrr:** _... would that be so bad?_

There was another long pause.

**armout:** _wow_  
 **armout:** _this guy’s really gotten to you  
_ **jaegrr:** _I guess..._

And yet another pause. I glanced over at Marco and yawned.

**jaegrr:** _I’m gonna get some sleep_  
 **jaegrr:** _I’ll think about it more tomorrow  
_ **armout:** _I doubt you’ll think of anything else_

I rolled my eyes at the comment and wished him goodnight before signing out and falling into bed. I undressed my bottom half and climbed under my covers in just a t-shirt and boxers, and thought about Levi as I drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I actually have the next few chapters already written and sitting in drafts on here. I'm not going to publish it all at once. I was planning on posting a chapters twice a week for the next couple of weeks and hoping I've written enough by then to keep that up, but since they're already written and on here I could upload one per day until Friday. But since I haven't written any full chapters beyond that yet, and I dunno how busy I'm going to be in the upcoming weeks, there might be longer waits after that. 
> 
> So... Yeah. I don't know. Do you guys want biweekly posts, or do you want to be able to read everything I've written so far by the end of this week?


	4. Saturday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has a lazy Saturday morning, but there might be a surprise in store for him.

I woke up early the next morning. I hadn’t set my alarm since it was a Saturday, but I still managed to wake up around 9am. I groaned and tried to force myself back to sleep, but it wouldn’t work. I dragged myself out of the bed and pressed a palm to my temple where I could feel a headache brewing.

I got up properly and threw on some sweatpants so I could go grab some breakfast at a café on campus. I bought myself a coffee and a muffin and went straight back to my dorm, deciding it was a morning best suited to “research”.

More often than not, if I used the word research, I wasn’t referring to looking through books for essay material. I was talking about playing video games. And when your dream is to make games, it becomes easy to justify spending a day in front of a computer screen.

Today, I wanted something enjoyable without being too taxing, so I opted for an MMO. I figured once I got bored of quests I could run around bothering people and looking (or laughing) at the scenery.

\---------------------------------------------------

I managed to do more questing and less dicking around than usual, for the first hour or two anyway. But then I got into my old habit of pretending to be a tourist. I didn’t have any friends online at the moment, and being serious in an MMO by yourself is no fun.

I was standing in front of a randomly selected NPC, asking her for directions, when a little noise sounded to tell me someone had mentioned my username in a message.

I glanced down at the world chat log.

**Heichou:** _You know she’s a computer, right kid? @TitanShifter_

I scoffed and rolled my eyes before typing out a response.

**TitanShifter:** _Yeah, I’m not completely stupid._  
 **TitanShifter:** _Just bored.  
_ **Heichou:** _Nice excuse._

What an asshole. I turned in game to face his avatar. A halfling. A fucking halfling was making fun of an elf for talking to NPCs.

**TitanShifter:** _You that short in real life, hobbit?  
_ **Heichou:** _You bet I am._

I was a little taken aback. I didn’t really have a problem with short people, in fact I was actually generally more attracted to people shorter than myself than taller. But I still hadn’t expected this ass to just admit to being short. Not that there was any real reason to be insecure about it.

I clicked into his character screen, and had a quick look through it. He was in the same timezone as me. Didn’t have his real name or age or location on his profile, but then again, neither did I. My brows knitted together as I saw his guild name. That looked... familiar. My heart skipped a beat when I realised it was the name of Levi’s dance studio. But that would be way too much of a coincidence... wouldn’t it?

**TitanShifter:** _What does ‘Flugel der Freiheit’ mean?_  
 **Heichou:** _Snooping through my profile, eh?  
_ **Heichou:** _It means Wings of Freedom._

I mulled it over, repeating it to myself out loud.

**TitanShifter:** _Is that a common phrase?  
_ **Heichou:** _... Why are you asking?_

I thought about lying to him. But decided being a bit more honest might help me determine quicker if this was who I thought it might be.

**TitanShifter:** _I’ve seen it somewhere before._  
 **Heichou:** _Oh really?  
_ **Heichou:** _Where?_

I decided to have a little fun, remembering that Levi’s jacket had had his studio’s logo embroidered on it.

**TitanShifter:** _There’s this one hot guy I see around sometimes who’s got it on a jacket._  
 **Heichou:** _Oh really?  
_ **Heichou:** _How hot?_

Was I seriously flirting with him over an MMO? Did he have any idea who I was?

**TitanShifter:** _As hot as the fiery pits of hell itself._  
 **Heichou:** _Care to describe him?_  
 **TitanShifter:** _Why?_  
 **Heichou:** _Curiosity._  
 **TitanShifter:** _He’s a little taller than a hobbit._  
 **TitanShifter:** _Hair as black as a raven._  
 **TitanShifter:** _This really fucking firm ass.  
_ **TitanShifter:** _Eyes that could pierce your soul._

Yeah, there was no way I was admitting this was me.

**Heichou:** _Sounds very...  
_ **Heichou:** _Sensual._

I froze. No way. NO WAY.

I jumped about a foot when my Skype made a noise and a little popup appeared in the corner of my screen telling me Armin had sent a message.

**armout:** _Good morning, Sunshine!_

I grabbed my headset and plugged it into my laptop hastily before clicking on the call button. I didn’t give him time to say anything once the call connected.

“I fucked up.”

“Eren?”

“I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up!”

“Eren, calm down, what happened?”

“I fucking _hit on him_.”

There was silence on the line for a minute.

“Like you texted him? Were you drinking?”

“No, I found him in an MMO and I fucking hit on him but he _knows it’s me_.”

“Alright, calm down, how do you know that he knows it’s you?”

I tried to calm myself with deep breaths.

“I hit on him and he called it sensual. He even used a fucking ellipsis so the word would stand out.”

“And what did you say?”

“Nothing! I fucked _up._ ”

“Is he still there?”

“Yeah.”

“Play it off.”

“What? How?”

“He was probably saying it to test whether it was you or not. He’s waiting for a reaction. Though if you’ve been staring at the screen for long enough without saying anything he probably thinks he’s got one.”

I blinked. How had I not realised that? I put my shaking hands over the keyboard and began to type.

**TitanShifter:** _Ugh, fucking lag.  
_ **TitanShifter:** _Sensual seems like an odd word to use there._

There was another long pause.

**Heichou:** _It felt like it might fit.  
_ **Heichou:** _Guess not._

I sighed audibly.

“Armin you are a genius.”

“Thank you.”

**Heichou:** _So, you gonna stand here talking to NPCs all day?  
_ **TitanShifter:** _If I feel like it._

“I think he wants me to game with him."

“You mean you haven’t been gaming with him? Did you just stalk his username or something and start hitting on him at random?”

“No, I was talking to a fucking village woman and he called me an idiot, basically.”

“Well it’s not like they talk back.”

“Well it’s not like I don’t fucking know that.”

“Whatever you say, Eren.”

“Shut up.”

**Heichou:** _Suit yourself._  
 **Heichou:** _I was looking for a warrior class to help me with a dungeon._  
 **Heichou:** _Guess I’ll have to find someone who doesn’t need to ask NPCs for directions._  
 **TitanShifter:** _I could come with_  
 **TitanShifter:** _I’m not sure she likes me very much anyway._  
 **Heichou:** _She can probably tell you’re gay._  
 **TitanShifter:** _I’m not gay._  
 **Heichou:** _Uh huh._  
 **Heichou:** _Tell that to Mr. Sensual._  
 **TitanShifter:** _Whatever.  
_ **TitanShifter:** _You just wish you WERE Mr. Sensual._

My game pinged again. Someone else had said my name.

**Collossal:** _Get a fucking room already @Heichou @TitanShifter_

I felt a blush creeping onto my cheeks.

**Heichou:** _What’s wrong? Are we turning you on? @Collossal_  
 **Collossal:** _Fuck off, freak.  
_ **Heichou:** _TS, you got a chat client?_

“TS?”

“What’s TS?”

I jumped at the sound of Armin’s voice, having forgotten entirely that he was still on the line.

“I dunno, he just addressed someone named TS.”

“Is your name Titan Shifter again? Have you ever heard of initials? ... What did he say?”

I flushed a little at my own stupidity.

“He asked if I have a chat client.”

“Tell him you only have Skype and you can’t type and fight at the same time. I’ll get off the line. Oh, and change your settings so your actual name doesn’t show, I’m guessing he knows that.”

I typed my response to probably-Levi as Armin had suggested and then edited my Skype profile before clicking back into the game.

**Heichou:** _Add me, then.  
_ **Heichou:** _Name’s the same on there._

“Okay, here goes...”

I waited for the search to load and tentatively clicked on the Add Contact button.

“Bye Armin.”

“See you, Lover Boy.”

I hung up on Armin and waited for Heichou to accept my friend request.

**Heichou:** _Sup Hunter._  
 **jaegrr:** _huh?_  
 **Heichou:** _Don’t tell me it’s your fucking name or something._  
 **jaegrr:** _wtf dude_  
 **Heichou:** _Jaeger, it means hunter._  
 **jaegrr:** _oh  
_ **Heichou:** _Hold on while I get my headset._

It took me a second before I realised my mistake.

He already knew my voice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone hasn't noticed yet, I really suck at chapter summaries and I hope it's not deterring anyone from reading this crap. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this.


	5. A Sensual Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of gaming, and another life drawing class

It didn’t take much for me to start freaking out. He was bound to recognise my voice once we started speaking. Why the hell had I invited him to voice chat with me? And why on earth had Armin not realised the flaw here?

... Unless he did, and this was part of some elaborate scheme of his.

That fucking midget. I’d get him back for this. I had no doubt in my mind.

The call alert noise startled me, and I accepted hesitantly.

“Your character’s switched to idle, get back in the game, brat.”

I clicked into the game window and moved my avatar.

“What, you’re going to insist on voice chatting and then suddenly become mute?”

I swallowed slowly. He’d only heard me speaking a couple of times the day before, and I’d stammered through most of it. I just had to keep my cool and he mightn’t realise it was me.

“Shut up, asshole, I’m helping you out with the dungeon, aren’t I?”

“Oi, don’t get cocky. Come on, follow me.”

Was it... working? Coming up with a plan that actually worked wasn’t something that was normal for me. I tried to contain my sigh of relief as I followed him through the digital landscape.

\--------------------------------------------

It had been hard at first to not let his effect on me show through my tone. There was something so sultry about the way he spoke, even when he wasn’t trying to say anything even remotely sexy. But as the minutes stretched into hours I became more comfortable. I was joking around with him, making fun of him, listening to him poke fun at me. It was like we were old friends.

It became normal. Normal to laugh with him, normal to talk to him, normal to just be spending time doing something together. It was like finding the jigsaw piece that goes in that one gap you’ve had in the picture for half the time you were assembling the fucking thing, the one you thought wasn’t even in the box and then suddenly slots in perfectly when you looked at it from the right angle.

That was what he felt like.

I barely even noticed the time passing.

“Right, well I gotta go, brat.”

“Aw, so soon?”

I could almost hear a small laugh.

“Yeah, that was a real short gaming session.”

I glanced at the clock and realised we’d been talking for six hours.

“Woah, shit. I didn’t even realise.”

“Whatever. I’ll see you later, Eren.”

I stopped mid-stretch as he hung up the line.

Eren.

_Eren_.

I lowered my hands back to my sides as I stared at the screen and felt my heart trying to claw itself out of my chest.

He fucking _knew._

_That whole time._

\---------------------------------------------

I had originally planned to set up another life drawing session with Levi the following week, but that plan went out the window the second I realised he’d known it was me hitting on him. And it’s not like he had any reason to call or text me, so I didn’t have to worry about that. I didn’t want to block him on Skype either, but it’s not like I used it to talk to that many people, and Armin understood why I wanted to remain on “invisible” any time I was online.

I tried to play it off like nothing happened. I tried to just forget the whole incident and move on. And I was doing alright at that for about a couple of weeks.

But then the third Wednesday after the incident, it happened.

I walked into figure drawing as Zoë was talking to the class.

“I’m sure you’ll all be delighted to hear that Levi has volunteered to be our life drawing model for the remaining weeks before Christmas!”

I could actually feel the colour draining from my face, and I tried to back out of the classroom quietly before she noticed I’d even entered, but unfortunately things are never that easy. She turned around and smiled broadly just as my back collided with something behind me.

“Levi! I was just telling the class the good news.”

I turned to see a familiar smirk and thought I was going to collapse on the spot.

“S-sorry,” I mumbled as I quickly turned back and hurried to an easel, not looking up again until I had to start drawing.

The warm up drawings and quick gestures weren’t too bad. I was a bit more shaky than usual and my line quality was all over the place, but at least it seemed to be passing like a semi-normal class. It was the longer poses that were an issue.

Each pose was more suggestive than the last, though with enough subtlety that no-one really questioned it. And every time, the fixed point he chose to focus on was me. My eyes mostly, it looked like it was my lips for a couple of poses, and my crotch for at least one.

I tried to keep control over the rising heat in my body, but eventually I just gave up and left the class mid-drawing, not even bothering to take my work with me. I could come back for it later.

I made my way to the nearest exit and sat on the ground outside.

What did this guy want from me? Why was he doing this? Was he just trying to get under my skin? Was he some paedophile who went to schools and colleges looking for young victims for his sexcapades? What the fuck was his _deal_? And why did I _care_ so much?

I stood up and wandered around the college for a bit, making sure I stuck to somewhat less populated areas. I didn’t want to run into Mikasa while I was so flustered, she’d probably insist on me telling her everything and then threaten to kill the man, and I certainly didn’t want to run into _him_. I ended up hiding in the library for about an hour, and then finally decided to head back down to the life drawing studio to get my stuff.

I started bundling up my drawings when I got in, and it took me a second to notice some were missing, including the one that I’d left on the easel. That seemed strange. I noticed my fixative was out too. Had someone borrowed it? I furrowed my brow as I thought about it, and I’d already packed everything up before the thought crossed my mind that he could have taken the drawings himself. But why would he do that?

I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts. Why would he do _anything_?

I knew next to nothing about this guy, there was no reason to put this past him. Though I still couldn’t understand why he’d take my drawings. Maybe he didn’t expect me to come back for them, or to notice.

I made my way back to my dorm, and lay on my bed for a while, thinking over the past few weeks. This was certainly not a roadblock I’d anticipated in my life plan.

Marco came in after a while, and cheerily asked how my day was. I considered telling him, but I’d never really opened up to him before, not that I’d ever had much to open up about, so I decided now wasn’t the time to start. I just shrugged it off and said it was pretty ordinary, and he laughed and agreed before letting me know he was going to help a friend study and then get some groceries, and asking me if I wanted anything.

I stayed lying down for a while after he left, but eventually rolled off the bed and got on Skype to talk to Armin. I spent a while telling him what happened during the day and we talked about what it could mean. I was no closer to being able to read Levi’s mind when the alert popped up to tell me he’d sent me a message.

I took a deep breath before clicking into the chat window to see what he’d said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is Levi's POV. I probably don't write him as well as I'd like considering he's my favourite character, but I'm giving it a shot.


	6. Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's POV

I was reluctant at first when Hange had asked me to model for her class. It wasn’t as if I had anything to be nervous about, I was pretty confident in myself and I had done some modelling for classes before, but this was for her _college_ class, and I was going to have to stand in front of a bunch of fucking teenage kids for a couple of hours.

I only agreed because it was Hange.

We’d met originally when we attended the same martial arts class as teenagers. She was the only other student who wasn’t afraid of me, and was definitely able to hold her own against my violent outbursts without ever getting violent herself. She’d been a year younger than me but at least five inches taller than me. She used to come to watch my dance practices and recitals too, once I’d been kicked out of martial arts. And she regularly made comments about my body and muscles and how I moved. They were never sexual, though, and I was glad for that. Having friends was not something I was accustomed to at the time and I don’t think things would have ended well if she’d been attracted to me. She was just interested in my body from an artistic point of view, and I can still remember the excitement on her face the first time I told her she could draw me while I danced.

Over the years, she’d used me as a reference model for a lot of her artwork, and when she got her first chance at teaching an evening life drawing class, she’d asked me to be her model since she didn’t know any others. She’d promised it was temporary and she’d find someone else as soon as she could, and she stuck to her word. Not that I’d minded being the model anyway.

When she called on me that day, she’d been pretty desperate, saying the college’s usual model had called in sick at the last minute. She practically begged me to sub for him, and I’d eventually caved. She was still the best friend I had, and the only person who’d consistently put up with me for years.

After the class, she’d had spark in her eye. One I’d learned to recognise early on as meaning she had some devious plot in mind. She’d asked if she could give my number to the class. She claimed that she wanted them to have a chance to see and sketch me in action in my own space, and I wasted no time in asking her why she couldn’t arrange it herself. I’d almost regretted it when I was faced with her mischievous grin, and she played it off as being curious as to who would actually take the number and call me.

I had to admit I was curious too. I didn’t say it to her, but we both knew we were hoping for the same person to call. I’d been more than a little disappointed the following Wednesday when I got several calls from giggling teenage girls asking to set up a lesson with me, and I’d pencilled them all in for a Monday morning session. It had been worth it though, when I finally got a call from a stuttering boy whose blush I could practically hear over the phone, and I’d decided to start a little experiment of my own.

And things had just spiralled from there.

Now here I was, sitting in my living room examining his latest drawings of me. I probably pushed things a little too far in that last drawing class, though I knew Hange would have stopped me if she thought I was being obscene. The kid had run out of the class though, and that had made the remainder of it disappointing to say the least. That was, until I’d seen his drawings left on and by his easel. They were beautiful, and unlike Hange’s drawings of me there was at least some sexual overtones detectable in the work. And the way he drew my eyes...

I put the drawing down and walked to my computer, quickly checking to see if the kid was online. Though, I hadn’t really expected him to be. He’d been appearing offline since I called him by his name over Skype chat. That was a move I regretted now. But being dishonest wasn’t in my nature.

That meant I had to be honest with myself too. So I had to acknowledge the feeling in the pit of my stomach. Jaeger was cute, very cute. And he had a nice build. There was no way I would have denied at any point that I’d be interested in fucking him. And teasing him was a lot of fun. This was something else though. This was a feeling I definitely shouldn’t get from some brat who was probably half my age. And it wasn’t a feeling I was used to getting. It had started after our day of gaming together. He had relaxed so much with me and I’d found that I was able to relax with him too, and then this had begun.  And it only intensified looking at his drawings from this afternoon.

I’d found it hard to believe at first that Hange had been encouraging me to go after a teenager in her class when she knew he was my type, but maybe _this_ is what she had in mind. After all, she knew me better than anyone, and she’d obviously been hanging around this kid for months. Even if he didn’t talk much to her, I knew she could tell a lot about someone by how and what they drew. Maybe she had known all along that I’d develop... _feelings_ for the boy.

I’d even volunteered to be her model again for a few weeks just so I could see him again after scaring him off initially. I couldn’t let _her_ know that, of course. And so I’d had to resort to teasing him again while she was there. I hadn’t let her see me take the drawings either, and I couldn’t go looking for him after the class in case I ran into her while holding them. I’d even cared enough to spray the drawings with whatever shit it was the brat kept in his bag that I’d seen him apply before. I’d had to cover my face with my sleeve as I did it, the smell was foul. I didn’t know how these art people could put up with that shit, not to mention getting their hands filthy when they drew, but if it resulted in something so... breathtaking... then it might actually be worth it.

I stared at the computer screen for a moment before deciding to type.

**Heichou** _Oi, brat, you there?_

I watched the little icon telling me the message was pending until it disappeared. So he was online. Probably still not likely to talk to me, though. I sighed.

**Heichou:** _Look, I’m sorry about earlier._

**Heichou:** _I was only trying to tease you, but I know that’s inappropriate and unfair._

I waited for an answer for a minute or two, but none came. I clenched my teeth together as I typed out my next sentence, knowing anyone who actually knew me would never let me live this down if they saw it.

**Heichou:** _Look, I actually had fun gaming with you. You’re a good kid, and talking to you is enjoyable. I know I’ve fucked that up by coming across as a pervert, but I can promise you I will cease that kind of behaviour if you’d like to be friends._

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. This was pathetic. Had I really resorted to this? I looked back at the screen, only to see a little “jaegrr is typing”.

**jaegrr:** _Did you take my drawings?_

Not the response I expected, but at least it was a response.

**Heichou:** _Uh, yeah._  
 **Heichou:** _I can give them back to you, or ask Hange to give them to you if you don’t want to see me again._  
 **jaegrr:** _No, it’s ok  
_ **jaegrr:** _You can keep them_

I couldn’t determine whether this was progress, or Jaeger trying to let me know he’d rather I wasn’t a part of his life.

**jaegrr:** _It’s kind of nice knowing you liked them that much_

I cursed the little flutter in my chest when I read that. It had been a long time since anyone had made me feel that, and it felt more than a little pathetic to know some teen could do it without even meaning to.

**Heichou:** _Thanks._

I hesitated before deciding to add more.

**Heichou:** _They’re very good.  
_ **jaegrr:** _thanks! :)_

I took the more casual form of typing to mean that he’d relaxed a bit, and this was confirmed for me when a little pop-up informed me that he was now appearing online.

**jaegrr:** _wanna game?  
_ **Heichou:** _Sure._

I smiled as my Skype informed me that I had an incoming call. An actual, genuine smile. And I knew I was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I did Levi some justice there. I really don't want him to seem out of character.
> 
> Oh, also I saw someone used the tag fic: chiaroscuro on tumblr, so I've started following that. Just in case anyone wants to tag something so I'll see it.


	7. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi offers some explanations for his behaviour, and the two become closer again.

Our second gaming session was pretty awkward in the beginning. We were both mostly silent, and I got the feeling he was purposely not talking out of fear I’d be uncomfortable with it. It seemed a little silly considering I’d called him, but it was nice at the same time, knowing he cared.

And I think I did need that quiet time. I was more confused than ever about what he was looking for. He’d been so sexual towards me in class and then apologised and talked about wanting to be my friend. What adult man asks a teenager to be their friend anyway? The whole situation was weird.

But as we played on, we both relaxed a bit, and I felt the same way as I had before. Like he was a part of me that I’d been missing, like we connected in some way that was comfortable and felt right. I got the feeling he felt the same way, and he didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who’d go out of his way to apologise to many people.

I knew he couldn’t be looking for something purely platonic, though. Even if he had been just teasing me for the hell of it, he’d taken home my drawings. He had pictures now in his house or apartment or wherever he lived, pictures that I had drawn of him in overtly sexual poses with that predatorial stare. There was no way someone would want something like that from a friend.

I didn’t notice at first when we got quiet again. I’d just gotten so caught up in my own thoughts that I stopped speaking, and he’d followed suit, probably thinking he’d said something to make me recess into my awkwardness.

Well, now was as good a time to confront him as any.

“So, Levi...”

“Mhmm?”

“Your apology from earlier...”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and he spoke slightly slower than usual when he answered.

“Yeah. What about it?”

I bit my lip, reconsidering for a moment before continuing.

“You apologised for teasing me and said you wanted to be my friend...”

“Yeah...”

“Can I ask _why_ you were teasing then?”

There was a deep sigh from his end of the line.

“You want the truth?”

“If you’re willing to tell it.”

Another long pause.

“Fine. Hange and I... we’ve known each other a long time. She’s one of very, _very_ few people I actually talk to regularly, and trust. I don’t know why though, she can be a real fucking bitch sometimes with her social experiments... Anyway, I think she gave you my number because she knew I’d... well, I think she thought... we’d... I dunno, we’d connect. Or something.”

He sighed again, and I stayed quiet because it sounded like there was more to the story.

“Look, I sleep around a lot, okay? I don’t get attached to people and I fuck a lot of dudes whose names I barely know. It’s been a long time since I last made a new friend, and even longer since I had any kind of serious romantic feelings for anyone. And when we actually got along... I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she was right. I wanted her to think she’d fucked up and I was just doing the same shit as usual. And you... fuck, you just got caught in the middle of it brat.”

We were both silent for a while. I was trying to take in everything he’d told me, and wondering why he’d opened up to me of all people when he said himself he didn’t trust others. I think he was just waiting for me to respond. He let out another heavy sigh when he got no response.

“I am sorry, kid. That wasn’t a lie.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

We gamed until somewhere between 3 and 4am that night, and I woke up to a text from Levi himself.

_Oi, you’d better be up, Jaeger. Don’t want you missing classes on my account._

We got into the habit of texting each other after that. Not all the time, but at a few different points throughout the day. It was kind of nice. And it only took a couple of days before seeing his name on my phone screen would bring a smile to my face before I ever read the text.

I had lunch that Saturday with Armin and Mikasa. It was nothing too special, we just met in a cafe to catch up and talk like it was the old days and we were still in school together. It was nice to hang out with the two of them sometimes.

I should have caught on to the look on Mikasa’s face the second my phone buzzed, but I still picked up my phone and smiled before typing out a response to the message on the screen.

“Who was that?”

“Huh?”

“Myself and Armin are both here, I didn’t know you texted anyone else.”

Oh shit. Now was not the time to explain the whole Levi situation to my over-protective sister. I was trying to think of a way to brush it off when Armin stepped in.

“Is that your gaming buddy?”

I shot him a quick glare. He flashed me a grin that faltered slightly when my foot collided with his shin under the table.

“What gaming buddy?” Mikasa asked, her tone not changing.

I scratched the back of my head.

“Oh, I uh, I met him in life drawing,” I internally cursed myself, “And we’ve played a few online games together. No biggie.”

That seemed to be enough of an answer for her, as she dropped the subject. It wasn’t until we were parting ways at the college campus that she brought it up again.

“I’d like to meet him.”

“Who?”

“Your gaming buddy.”

“Ah. Is that- is it really necessary? He’s just some guy I game with.”

She walked off without answering, and I knew this wasn’t going to end well.

\--------------------------------------------

I almost freaked when I saw her through the narrow window in the door of the life drawing studio. She was seriously taking it upon herself to come meet this “gaming buddy” of mine, and I had no clue what to do.

I quickly grabbed the nearest person to me, groaning in my mind when I realised it was the most obnoxious fucking asshole in the room.

“Jean, I need a favour.”

“What the fuck, Eren?”

“Look, I’ll fucking pay you for it, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever, I ain’t doing you any favours.”

“Jean please, I just need you to pretend we’ve been gaming together, for my sis-”

I stopped abruptly when I saw her walk in. I was fucked, so fucked.

“Good afternoon, Eren. I thought I’d swing by and meet this gaming buddy of yours.”

I tried not to appear as being as nervous as I actually was.

“About th-” I stopped when I felt a weight on my shoulders.

Jean had slung his arm across my shoulders and was now leaning on my slightly, flashing my sister a lobsided grin. Eugh, this fucker was cheesy.

“Hey, you must be Eren’s sister. I’m Jean, the gaming buddy.”

I felt sick to my stomach, but at least something was going right for once. I zoned out as they talked but snapped back into it when Mikasa brought her eyes back to meet mine.

“It’s cute that he’s trying to impress me. But I guess he’s okay.”

And with that, she turned and left. We both stared after her for a moment before I shrugged Jean’s arm off my shoulders and muttered a half-hearted thanks.

“Hey, you said you’d pay me, can you pay me with her number?”

The look of disgust must have been evident on my face, judging by the glare he shot me.

“No way, here.” I shoved some money into his hand and he left the room, fuming.

I sighed with relief that it was over and had gone reasonably well, and then jumped a little when a voice spoke right by my ear.

“Ashamed of me, are you?”

I could feel his hot breath on my neck, and I didn’t turn around at first because I could feel the flush burning in my cheeks. I turned after a few seconds, not wanting to appear rude.

“Uh, no, I... I just. My sister is... She uh.”

He chuckled at my flustered response and flashed me a half-smile.

“Calm down, brat. I was just kidding. This is interesting though,” he added, gesturing at my flushed face.

I let out a nervous laugh and apologised.

“You want to go get some coffee or something?”

I stared at him blankly and he sighed.

“It’s not a date, I just figured we’d been talking to each other plenty recently and it might be nice to actually hang out in person for once.”

I thought about it for a moment and then nodded and followed him out of the room when he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, can't have an snk fic without Jean trying to hit on Mikasa. Right? Right? Yeah.
> 
> I've gotten a bit of writer's block with this, so the next chapters might be a little slow updating while I figure out exactly where I'm going with the story. In the meantime, any comments are welcome and appreciated. I'm tracking the tag fic: chiaroscuro on tumblr as well (not that there's really anything in it at the moment).
> 
> And in a lovely coincidence, I actually got to go to a dance studio today to draw people dancing, which is a thing I didn't know I'd be doing when I started writing this. There was no Levi there, though, unfortunately.


	8. Not a Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi go on their not-date, and maybe another.

Spending time with him in the café was oddly comfortable. He’d insisted on ordering for me, saying he’d worked in a place like this when he was younger and had quite the knack for being able to tell what people would like. I didn’t argue, and was pleasantly surprised when he presented me with a creamy latté with caramel syrup. It’s not something I would have chosen to order myself, but it was absolutely delicious. He himself just got a black coffee, but he seemed content with how pleased I was with my own drink.

We slowly settled into the same kind of familiarity we had when we were gaming, and it was nice to know that we could have that kind of dynamic in person too. He didn’t make a single suggestive comment, and he never once hit on me. It was very clear that he was being serious when he’d said he’d back off if I wanted to be friends.

The problem was that I wasn’t sure I _did_ just want to be friends. I mean, there was definitely some attraction there. I couldn’t ignore thoughts I’d had previously, about his body, his voice, his eyes. There was something about him that made him run through my mind at even the most inappropriate of times. And I felt like those feelings might be mutual. He just had a lot of self control.

But either way, I was happy to take things slow, and glad he was giving me the opportunity to get to know him as a person instead of pushing me to dive straight into anything. I felt like he cared. That meant a lot to me.

When we were finishing up, he suggested meeting again over the weekend. He said I could sketch him again, or we could catch a movie or grab some dinner. He stressed again that it wasn’t a date, and that these were things he had no problem doing with other friends and could easily treat as non-romantic. Eventually we decided doing a bit of sketching and going for a casual meal afterwards. It couldn’t hurt.

\----------------------------------

Saturday rolled around pretty quickly, and this time I was excited when I got to the studio as opposed to being as nervous as last time. I greeted him with a broad smile and I could see the corners of his mouth twitch upwards as he let me in. I’d noticed before that his facial expressions were usually quite subtle, and I found the more I saw him, the easier it was for me to read them.

I lay on my stomach on the floor and sketched him as he danced gracefully, talking to him about school and games and nonsense while he mainly focused on the dance and kept quiet.

I left my art supplies in his car when we went to eat. It was just a 50s-style diner. Nothing fancy, nothing that could make things awkward. He was being very careful in planning out everything so I wouldn’t feel any pressure. He tried to play everything off casually, but I could tell how much effort he was putting into making me feel comfortable. And it gave me butterflies.

Just sitting there, knowing this guy I’d only met a few weeks ago cared about my happiness so much that he was putting my comfort ahead of everything. It made me feel so... special. No-one had ever treated me like that before.

We spent the whole dinner talking. I told him about Mikasa and how my parents had adopted her as a child, how our mother had died when we were in our teens, how overprotective she’d been of me ever since. I talked about Armin and how I’d never had another friend who could compare to him in terms of knowing me and being there for everything that had happened in my life. He told me about his friends, how my life drawing teacher was essentially his equivalent to my Armin, though he’d met her a lot later in life, and how she’d opened him up to the idea of trusting even a few people and introduced him to every other person he now trusted, myself included. That made me feel special too.

By the end of the day, I had a lot to think about. He’d dropped me home again, and I walked into the dorm with a dopey smile on my face.

 

\--------------------------------------------

Marco was lying on his back on his bed when I walked in, staring at the ceiling. I dropped my bag on the floor quietly and lay down on my own bed. After a few minutes of thinking in silence, I heard him shift his position.

“Eren...?”

I turned my head to look at him. He looked nervous and confused, and kind of upset. It was unusual to see him like this, as he usually had a smile on his face at all times. It actually kind of broke my heart to see such a nice guy looking like he was in pain, even if it was subtle.

“Yeah?”

He averted his gaze and shuffled nervously.

“What do you do if you lo... if you like someone, but you don’t think they’re attracted to guys?”

I’m sure some people would think here that he was trying to tell me he liked me, but it didn’t even cross my mind. He looked like he genuinely needed advice, and knowing how helpful he was to everyone else 24/7, I was going to do my best to give it to him.

“What makes you think they’re not attracted to guys?”

I was careful to leave out pronouns, as I’d noted that he had too, and I wasn’t entirely sure what way he... swung. He rolled back onto his back, staring at the ceiling and sighing lightly as his kind smile fell back into place on his face.

“Well we... we hang out a lot, and I know he likes me as a friend, and he definitely trusts me. But he’s never really mentioned even having a crush on someone before... until recently.”

The smile faltered and he took a second to breathe before continuing, possibly holding back some tears.

“There’s some girl, and lately she’s all he talks about. And I guess... up until now I didn’t realise how much I...” He bit his lip and then continued quietly. “I thought I was okay with us just being friends, but every time he talks about her...”

I stared back up at the ceiling. This was a tough one.

“Well maybe... Maybe he was waiting for you to say something, and he moved on when you never did. I don’t know, I think any guy would be crazy to turn you down, you’re one of the nicest people out there.”

“You mean that?”

“Yeah, dude, you’re pretty great.”

“Thanks.”

“He’d have to be some asshole to be hurting you on purpose.”

He chuckled a little.

“He is a bit of an asshole. Or at least, that’s how he likes to appear. He’s just... insecure. And he doesn’t like to show it, so he pretends to be way more confident than he is. I guess part of me thought that he must have liked me if he was willing to be vulnerable enough with me for me to see who he really is.”

“Well shit,” I propped myself up on my elbow and he turned to face me when he heard me move. I furrowed my brows. “Marco... If he’s as insecure and unsure of himself as you say he is... Then I think no matter how much he wanted to be with you, he probably wouldn’t say anything for fear of losing the one person he’s able to open up to. Hell, if he was really trying to push the cocky act he’d have been sleeping with girls left, right and centre. What was holding him back?”

His usual soft, kind smile broke and spread out into a genuinely happy grin. His whole face seemed to light up, and I could swear tears welled in his eyes. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning, and it struck me suddenly that even though I’d always thought of him as a cheery person, I’d never seen him looking properly happy.

“You think so?”

“Hell yeah!”

“Thanks, Eren.”

He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He dialled a number into his phone and stood up as he put it to his ear. He spoke into the receiver as he walked across the room and out the door.

“Hey, Jean? Can you meet me at the café, I’ve got something I wanna talk to you about.”

_Jean?_

I shuddered as I realised the girl he was talking about was probably my sister, but I smiled as I lay back on the bed. As much of an asshole as Jean Kirschtein was, Marco deserved to be happy, and if Jean could make him smile like that... then he couldn’t be all bad.


	9. An Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren receives an unexpected invitation.

I couldn’t get Levi out of my mind after that Saturday. As if he hadn’t invaded my thoughts enough before, he was now in my mind at every moment. I thought back on the butterflies I’d felt at the realisation that he cared about me, and I smiled to myself as I could feel them bubbling again. It was like some pathetic schoolgirl crush. Armin had taken to slipping his name into conversation as much as possible and making fun of the fact that I either blushed or subconsciously smiled every time he said it. It was hopeless.

I still had no idea what to do about it, or even what I really wanted out of the whole situation. He was proving to be a good friend, and I didn’t want to lose that, but I knew by now I wasn’t content with just his friendship. He’d made it perfectly clear to me that if I wanted anything more, I was going to have to be the one to initiate it, and that terrified me.

I still didn’t know what age he was, though I knew I was younger than him, and possibly by a lot. That meant he probably had more experience than I did. And I couldn’t help but ask myself what kind of older man wants to have a serious relationship with a teenage boy.

I was contemplating all this on my bed when my phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Oi, Eren,” there was a pause, but one I didn’t think he wanted me to fill, “I’ve got two questions for you. One, how weird would it be for you to hang out with one of your teachers in your spare time, and two... What are you doing Christmas Day?”

Christmas Day was a week away, and although I had no plans, I was reluctant to say so when I didn’t know his intentions. Was he asking me to a Christmas dinner?

“One, somewhere between a little awkward and the worst idea in the world, depending on the teacher. Since it’s coming from you, I think I can guess which teacher you mean, though, so I can tell you it’s closer to the former.”

“And two?”

I paused and winced a little as I half lied to him.

“I’m not sure.”

There was an audible sigh on the other end of the line.

“Look, Christmas is... it’s my birthday. I usually do something with the few fuckers unfortunate enough to get close to me, and since you’re weeding your way in there I figured I should ask you.”

He almost sounded nervous. It must have been a big deal for him if he was calling me. I bit my lip before responding.

“Sure. I didn’t know it was your birthday.”

“Yeah, I don’t really talk about it.”

“You didn’t strike me as the kind of person to have birthday celebrations, to be honest.”

“I wouldn’t be, Hange’s parents started the tradition for me.”

“That’s nice of them.”

“Yeah, whatever brat. I’ll see you later.”

I dropped the phone on the bed after hearing the click of the other line disconnecting. So he considered me as a close friend, then. That was surprising, but somehow it wasn’t at the same time.

I didn’t exactly have many friends I trusted myself, and to be honest a part of me had started to think trusting people was something that didn’t come naturally to me, that it was something I was going to have to learn to force if I didn’t want to end up completely friendless in life. So it was weird for me to think about how quickly Levi and I had become friends, and how easily I’d started to trust him. It was refreshing. Though I couldn’t imagine he really felt that the same way I did, I was sure he had life more figured out than I did since he had at least a few years more experience than I did.

I contemplated getting him a present too. I was sure he’d understand if I didn’t, I mean we hadn’t known each other very long and I was a poor college student. But an idea struck me that evening when I was looking through my life drawing and I couldn’t help but grin as I realised I had the perfect gift to give him that worked really well with the relationship we had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to post this on its own because it feels too short. I've written a couple more chapters after this, but not the bit that connects this to those, and I don't want to leave it ages before I update so I figured two short chapters would be better than waiting a long time for me to figure out what I want to say in that in-between bit. I like what's coming up after that though, it's a bit more angsty I guess.
> 
> Also, I have this whole backstory in my head with Levi and Hange and Hange's parents and I'm starting to think there's no organic way to actually get that into the story so I might just stick the whole think in a note one of these days.


	10. The Night Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren celebrates Christmas with Armin and Mikasa

I didn’t see Levi at all for the next week. I’d had a couple of assignments to finish up before Christmas break started, and I was spending my spare time working on the present I’d decided on. I’d barely noticed the time going by and then suddenly it was Christmas Eve.

Armin, Mikasa and I had arranged to spend the evening in Armin’s apartment. We hadn’t gotten to spend a whole lot of time together during the semester, especially towards the end of it, so it was nice to be able to spend a whole evening together.

Luckily for me, Armin was planning on going to visit his grandfather the next day, so I didn’t have to come up with an excuse to arrange the get-together on Christmas Eve as opposed to Christmas Day. I still hadn’t exactly told Mikasa about the whole Levi thing, and letting her know I was spending my Christmas in his apartment didn’t seem like the best way to start off.

The two of us walked from campus together to Armin’s place. Most of the walk was spent in a comfortable silence, which wasn’t really unusual for us.

We’d decided unanimously this year to have a pretty cheap Christmas. We were all a bit stretched for cash since starting college, and all we really needed was each other anyway. So no fancy meal and no gift exchanges. It was a relief to have that pressure off my shoulders and I reckon the others felt the same way. So we’d decided to just have a movie night with the three of us and some cheap snacks. Mikasa and I brought popcorn and chips with us, and Armin had soft drinks and ice cream ready at his apartment.

He greeted us at his door in a dorky red Christmas jumper with a cheesy reindeer on it, and a massive grin on his face. Christmas jumpers had become a tradition of ours, and at this point myself and Armin had started an unspoken competition to see who could wear the most cringeworthy jumper. My own this year was a green number covered in small white snowflakes with a snow-covered Christmas tree in the centre, but somehow Armin’s goofy reindeer had it beat. Mikasa joined in the tradition too, but her jumpers were actually tasteful and almost classy.

He hugged us both and we got straight to business when we went inside, getting all the food ready and then settling into our shitty Christmas movies.

And when I say shitty Christmas movies, I mean shitty Christmas movies. This year Armin had gotten his hands on _Santa Claus Conquers the Martians_ , which was... beautiful, in an absolutely terrible way. We followed it with _Jingle All the Way_ , because who doesn’t love the terminator being Anakin Skywalker’s hero? – And then ended the night with _All I Want for Christmas_. We might have watched more, but Armin wanted to be asleep early enough that he wouldn’t be tired going to see his grandfather the next day.

Armin didn’t exactly have a spare room, so being the gentleman he is, he offered Mikasa his bed and I slept on the couch while he slept on some cushions and blankets on the floor beside me.

I’d just settled down and closed my eyes when he started whispering to me.

“Hey, Eren, you still awake?”

“Mmhmm.”

A pause.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

I rolled onto my side and looked down at him.

“A little, I guess. But I shouldn’t be, right?”

He shrugged a little.

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’d be weird for it to be a big deal for you, but it doesn’t have to be either. I just thought you might want to talk about it, you know, now that Mikasa’s not in the room.”

I smiled down at him. There were a million reasons Armin was my best friend, and this was one of them.

“I’ll be okay, it’s just some birthday dinner.”

“Alright, once you’re sure...” a sly smile grew on his face, “How are things going with Mr Hottie anyway?”

I rolled my eyes dramatically.

“Ugh, don’t call him that. I dunno, they’re going... slow, I guess. I think he wants me to be really comfortable with things before anything happens, _if_ anything’s going to happen.”

“Hmm, maybe he likes the dominant type.”

I actually thought about it more seriously than Armin’s jab warranted before I responded.

“I dunno, I think he _is_ the dominant type. He’s probably just going to let me make the first move and then take it from there.”

His eyebrows shot up before a grin spread across his face and I instantly regretted what I said, though I knew I could trust Armin with it anyway.

“Oh, so it’s _you_ who likes the dominant type, eh? Can’t say I ever saw that coming.”

I glared at him, but couldn’t stop myself from smiling or blushing.

“Shut up, Armin.”

He waggled his eyebrows at me.

“I thought likin’ ‘em small meant you wanted them all weak and subservient but I guess you like the little guys to pack a punch.”

I covered my face with my hands as my blush deepened.

“Oh my god, can you even hear what you’re saying? Please, _please_ shut up and go to sleep already.”

“Whatever you say, loverboy.”

I pulled a small cushion off the couch and threw it lightly at his face before I rolled over to face the back of the couch and drifted off to sleep with a goofy grin on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad for only posting a really short chapter last time, and I finally got this bit done, so I figured I might as well post it now. The next one will probably be up over the weekend.
> 
> Also I'm terrible and I suck at writing Mikasa and I did a terrible thing and basically skipped over her existence to get to Armin being Armin and at first it was an accident but then I did nothing to fix it, I'm sorry.


	11. Christmas Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren visits Levi's apartment

The three of us woke up pretty early the next day, and Mikasa and I walked back to our dorms together. I had to fight to keep the grin off my face as we were walking, not wanting her to question why I was suddenly so happy that day.

I spent the next few hours pacing in my room and trying to figure out what to wear and how to act. I had no idea how formal or casual this was supposed to be, so I’d opted to wear dark jeans and a pale blue cotton button-down shirt.

The hours passed like minutes, and before I knew it, I was standing nervously outside Levi’s apartment building. I stared at the buzzer for a while before I finally pressed it. At this rate, Levi was going to think I was early for everything, even though usually the opposite was true.

It didn’t take him long to buzz me up, and soon I was on the fourth floor walking down a hallway to his door. I took a deep breath and knocked. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. Was it about being in his apartment? Meeting his friends? It’s not like I hadn’t spent time with him before.

I smiled at him when he opened the door.

“Happy birthday!”

His face was as expressionless as ever, eyelids heavy and mouth kept in a straight line.

“Merry Christmas, brat.”

He turned and walked away, and I followed him in and closed the door gently behind me as I looked around his apartment. It was small, but very, _very_ clean. When I stepped inside, there were two small couches to my left, angled so they both faced a TV in the corner of the room. On the opposite side of the room was a small table with a few chairs around it. There was a wall to my right, but a few feet on there was a corridor that way with a couple of doors along it and an archway that led into a small kitchen.

I took in as much as I could as I slowly made my way in the direction he’d walked, and froze when my eyes landed on him.

Had he been wearing that apron when he answered the door to me?

I don’t know how long I stood and stared at him as he worked away in the kitchen. He was wearing black trousers and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and had a slightly frilly blue apron tied around his waist and neck. His face was set in concentration at the task at hand, but my staring obviously hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

I blushed a little and was glad he didn’t turn around.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you while you’re... cooking.”

“Then go sit down. We’ll be having dinner in there,” he jerked his head slightly towards a window in the left-hand wall of the kitchen that looked into the space where the table stood in the other room. “The others should be here soon.”

I hadn’t even sat down yet when I heard the buzzer go off. He buzzed whoever it was in from the kitchen and I stood awkwardly for a bit, not sure if it would be rude of me to sit when someone else would be coming in shortly and he was busy working. By the time I’d decided to pulled out a chair to sit down, a knock was sounding at the door.

“Oi, Jaeger, can you get that?”

I pushed back in the chair I’d been pulling out and walked over to the door, pulling it open gently before I stumbled back suddenly as someone launched themselves at me and shouted.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Wait, did you get taller?”

I froze wide-eyed and my voice wouldn’t leave my throat. Luckily there had been someone behind her and he chuckled at the situation before stepping into the room.

“You’ve got the wrong person, Zoe. Might want to take it easy on the kid.”

She pulled back, and sure enough there was my life drawing teacher hugging me.

“Oh, hey Eren! Where’s Levi?”

“He’s uh... he’s in the kitchen.”

She bounded off past me and the other man smiled kindly at me before offering a hand for me to shake.

“I’m Erwin. Sorry about Zoe, she’s a bit of a handful, though it sounds like you’ve met before anyway.”

I shook his hand and fought back a blush as I recovered from my shock.

“Uh, yeah, she’s um... she’s my teacher.”

I saw one of his eyebrows raise slightly but he didn’t say anything else. I walked back to the table and sat down, not wanting to annoy Levi any more by going back into the kitchen, especially now that he was dealing with Zoe in there.

I could hear her babbling in a lively manner, interrupted every now and then by a “Hange, I swear to fucking God” or some similar comment.

Erwin had gone into the kitchen too to greet Levi, but had soon left them to their own devices and sat at the table with me. We sat in an awkward silence for a while before Levi and Zoe arrived in with food, and that’s when it hit me.

This was it. It was just the four of us. We weren’t waiting for anyone else. I knew he didn’t trust many people, but I didn’t realise he was bringing me into a dinner with only two other people, at least one of whom he’d known since he was younger than I was now. It’s not like I had more than two people in my life that I really trusted and felt close to, but I wasn’t about to invite Levi to a homecooked meal with Armin and Mikasa. That would be... weird. Really weird. This was weird. This was really weird and I suddenly couldn’t fathom what I was doing there.

I realised too late that I’d been staring at the food, and as I averted my gaze I was met with a slightly worried look in Levi’s eyes. I glanced away as I felt a tightness in my chest. Breathing was becoming difficult and the room was starting to seem uncomfortably small. I stood up quicker than I meant to and kept my gaze down as I excused myself.

“I actually need to go to the bathroom, I’m sorry.”

There was a marginal pause before Levi responded, telling me it was the door at the end of the corridor. I didn’t hesitate as I walked away from the table and down the hall. Once I was inside the bathroom, I closed the door gently behind me and sunk to the ground, trying desperately to calm my breathing. I clenched my eyes shut, trying and failing to sort out my thoughts.

This was ridiculous, there was no reason for me to be reacting like this. But why was I here? I didn’t even know Levi. I’d only just met him and I didn’t even know what age he was, so what was I doing at a small birthday dinner with only his closest friends? Why the hell would an adult man invite an 18-year-old _child_ to something so... intimate?

I buried my face in my hands and concentrated on fighting against the burning sensation in my eyes as I felt tears trying to surface.

Why was this happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Levi chapter up next. I unintentionally made my Levi chapters 6 and 12 so maybe I'll do another at chapter 18 on purpose, who knows. This fic is one part Levi, five parts Eren.
> 
> Edit: A few people are complaining that my chapters are too short, so it'll probably be a while before I update again. I'm pretty busy at the moment and completely stressed out by shit going on in life, so I don't have the time right now to be writing out thousands of words on this every week and I don't want to be churning out shorter chapters people aren't enjoying. So just... bear with me, I guess, hopefully it wont be TOO long before the next update, but it probably wont be any time this week.


	12. Bathroom talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's POV again, at the Christmas/birthday dinner

I fucked up.

I shouldn’t have invited the kid to my birthday meal. It had almost seemed like a good idea at the time, but I should have known better. I’d been so shocked by the idea that I could come to trust someone so quickly that I’d barely stopped to consider his feelings in all of this.

Sure, he’d said it was fine. But he was still a kid, what did he know? I was the adult in this situation, and I should have never even brought it up.

And now he’d run off to the bathroom without having so much as touched any food.

I stared at his empty seat for a minute after he’d left. I tried to convince myself that he actually was just going to take a shit or something, but I’d seen the look on his face before he left, and the quick look Erwin and Hange had exchanged told me they had too.

I took the napkin off my lap where I’d placed it only moments before, and folded it before setting it down on the table.

“I’m just gonna go check on him.”

Erwin gave a small nod, but they both knew better than to say anything at this point.

The door down the end of the hall was closed, but I could see the light coming out from under it, with a shadow taking up about half of the space the light should have been. So he was sitting in front of the door. I sighed quietly as I reached the door and gently rapped my knuckles against it.

“Eren?”

I tried the door handle, and amazingly enough, he’d forgotten to lock it. I could hear shuffling as I slowly pushed the door open. The shadow had moved away, so he was letting me inside. I took that as a good sign.

When I stepped into the room, he was sitting with his back to the wall on my left, knees hugged up to his chest and head facing away from me. I shut the door and crouched beside him.

“Are you alright?”

His voice cracked a little when he responded.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry.”

I sighed and shifted my position, opting to sit beside him rather than remaining crouched. I leaned my back against the wall.

Neither of us said anything for a while, and ordinarily I would have allowed the silence to stretch longer, but I had a feeling if I let it drag on he’d start blubbering or apologising because he thought it was expected or some shit, and that was definitely not my intention.

“I shouldn’t have invited you. You can leave if you’d like. I wont hold it against you.”

My plan to cut him off before he started blubbering like a fucking whale failed miserably, and what I said seemed to set him off worse than I expected. I sighed and closed my eyes.

“Eren.”

He actually stopped in the middle of whatever incoherent mess was spilling out of his mouth.

“I’m not saying I don’t want you here. But obviously it’s too fucking soon to be inviting you to a meal in my apartment.” I paused and took a deep breath. I guess I owed the kid some explanation. Again. How the fuck did I keep owing this brat explanations, when usually I didn’t feel like I owed anyone anything?

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not very good at social interaction. I don’t have many friends, and I don’t bother myself with people I don’t give a shit about. I didn’t have to try with Hange because she latched onto me, and she ended up growing on me like a fucking fungus. Erwin was her friend first, so he already knew what to expect when we were getting to know each other and I can’t honestly say I even liked the guy at first. I’m not used to being the person who has to initiate shit, and I guess I don’t know enough about the whole friendship process to have seen in advance what a fucking shitty idea it was to ask you here when we’ve only known each other for a little while. So don’t fucking blame yourself, okay? This mess is my fault, and those two assholes out there know how I am so they’re not going to judge you if you want to walk out of here.”

We sat in silence again, and this time I did let it stretch on. I’d said my part. I’d said more than I usually said to anyone, in fact. Talking a lot was never something I enjoyed, especially when the subject of the conversation was myself. But I’d fucked up, and I wasn’t one to shy away from admitting to my mistakes.

This time he broke the silence. His voice cracked a little, but it was nothing like the last time he tried to speak. He was calmer, like he’d taken the time to actually collect his thoughts during our silence.

“I felt out of place.”

I nodded. He sniffed. The silence returned.

“I don’t even know what age you are.”

“Thirty-five as of today.”

I almost laughed at the look he gave me. Obviously the kid had thought I was younger, most people do. But that look gave away so much more than just that. He was shocked, not merely surprised. The kind of shock that told me those poses I’d done in his life drawing class had definitely had the desired effect. It only lasted a moment though, and his face relaxed as he turned his head to face forward again.

“Thirty-five,” he repeated needlessly, still processing the new information.

“Yep.”

“You look good for thirty-five.”

My raised eyebrow went unseen by him as he didn’t move his head, but the faint blush that now adorned his cheeks did not go unnoticed by me.

He let out a soft laugh, not at anything in particular, probably just a way of coming down from whatever kind of anxiety he’d been feeling before, and I couldn’t help but become confused when he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through it with one hand and wiped light tears off his face with the back of the other.

“I made you a birthday present.”

I frowned at him as he held his phone out in front of me, and then glanced down at it. There was a video playing on it. It was only about five seconds long, though it looped, and it was very rough, but very familiar. I raised a hand slowly and took the phone out of his hand as I stared at it, as I watched the little figure dancing gracefully on the screen and felt the creases between my eyebrows even out.

“Is that... is that me?”

I barely even recognised my own voice as I spoke, and I had to tear my eyes away from the screen to look at his now-smiling face. That fucking brat was too cute for his own good, and this... no-one had ever given me a present that personal.

I could see a faint apprehension in his eyes before he spoke.

“Do you like it?”

I looked back down at the screen and felt my face heating up a little. Well done, Levi. You can pull sexual poses naked in the middle of a room full of teenagers and not blink an eye, but some idiot half your age shows you a couple of drawings put together so they move and suddenly you’re blushing like a schoolgirl. I glanced back up to see him frowning a little, obviously the flush in my cheeks wasn’t enough of an answer and the brat was going to make me say it.

“I love it.”

I cursed the churning in my stomach when that stupid grin spread its way across his cheeks, and judging by how confused he looked all of a sudden, my expression had obviously shifted to match that. Poor kid was going to have to get used to me glaring for no reason.

I stood up before I allowed things to get any worse.

“Come on, I’m going back outside, I’m fucking starving. You should come eat, but you can go home if you’d prefer.”

He scrambled to his feet awkwardly beside me and gave his face one last wipe.

“No, I’m good.”

I opened the door, and hesitated for half a second before I chose to grasp his hand and pull him out into the hallway behind me.

“If we’re lucky, Hange wont have inhaled the whole fucking table yet.”

His fingers tightened around my hand and I didn’t have to look behind me to know he was blushing again.


	13. End of the Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Christmas Day.

I’m not sure I can count how many emotions I had running through my head that evening. What was supposed to be a simple dinner at a friend’s house had become something else entirely, and I don’t think there’s even a name for it. I don’t know what I’d been feeling really when I went into that bathroom. Panic, I guess. Anxiety. Sadness? I didn’t really have anything to be sad about, I think more than anything I was just confused. And I didn’t know how to express myself when he came to find me, how to explain what was going on in my mind, but somehow he understood. He understood more than I did, and I don’t know how he did it. It was calming, and it was like his presence brought about this clarity that I don’t fully comprehend, but I appreciated it so much.

And then we were out of there, and he was holding my hand and it took all my self control not to let a dopey grin spread across my face because all of a sudden all I could feel was this overwhelming happiness. He understood me, he accepted me, and he _liked_ me. He liked me enough to invite me here, he liked me enough to tell me he loved my present, he liked me enough to want to make me feel comfortable accepted, and he liked me enough to walk back into a room where his two closest friends were sitting while he was _holding my hand._

I hadn’t been sure before now that I really wanted to pursue anything with Levi, but now I was. I wouldn’t do it tonight, at least not while his friends were here, but at some point I’d let him know how I felt. And that would be soon. Though, he could probably guess by how tight I was now holding his hand, and he’d definitely be able to tell if he saw the redness in my cheeks or knew how much of a grin I was holding in.

I willed my blush to fade as we approached the table, hoping it would be gone by the time I sat down. Judging by Zoe’s sheepish grin, I hadn’t been entirely successful, but neither Erwin nor Levi showed any indication of noticing it. I just kept my gaze away from her for a moment while I tried to compose myself fully, and turned my attention instead to filling up my plate.

Everything tasted amazing.

I don’t think I’d ever had food that good before and I wanted to simultaneously save it forever and eat it all immediately. I paused between ravenous bites to take a swig of water, and looked up at Levi. He was just staring at me, probably because I was eating like I hadn’t seen food in a hundred years. I swallowed my food with a smile and decided to comment on it.

“I think I’ll have to come round here for dinner more often if you always cook like this.”

He smirked and rolled his eyes, and I could almost detect a hint of a blush on his cheeks. Or I thought I could, at least. Maybe it was more that I hoped it was there.

“As if I want to make a habit of cooking for shitty brats.”

We continued eating for a bit in comfortable silence, broken by the occasional short conversation, mostly started by Zoe. It seemed like she was definitely the most talkative person there. Erwin was quietly contemplative, and Levi was... well, Levi.

“Eren.”

I looked up at the sound of my name, and raised my eyebrows a little instead of answering verbally since my mouth was stuffed with delicious goodness yet again.

“I’m teaching a dance class next Monday. You should come, especially if it’s helping your work that much.”

I felt my eyes widen slightly as I swallowed.

“I didn’t know you taught.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a small group I teach a couple of times a month.”

“Alright then!” I smiled brightly at him.

“Is it really helping you, Eren?” Zoe looked positively thrilled, probably happy that she’d been the one to bring Levi and his dancing into my life. I fought back a blush as I responded to her.

“Yeah, I guess so, I mean it’s always good to have more practice.”

Levi snorted. He actually fucking _snorted_.

“Don’t be fucking modest, brat.” I could see the corner of his mouth twitch up into a small smirk before he continued, “Watching someone dance has done you a lot of good, if that birthday present’s anything to go by.”

Zoe perked up at that, and I had a distinct feeling it was the reaction Levi was aiming for. She grinned almost maniacally and practically bounced in her chair as she interrogated him enthusiastically.

“Birthday present?! What was your birthday present?! Did he draw you a picture?”

The smirk grew and he met my eyes in a way that made me gulp.

“He did more than that.”

My face flushed a bright red. I knew he was just talking about my animation, but he was so purposefully messing with us, with me, and I couldn’t help but react exactly how he wanted me to. I could feel my cheeks burning more as both Zoe and Erwin looked from Levi to me, wide-eyed. I tried to hold Levi’s gaze for a minute but my reserve broke quickly and I averted my gaze to my plate.

“You’re too easy to wind up, Jaeger. Just show them the damn thing.”

I fumbled in my pocket for my phone and pulled it out. For some reason the whole situation had shattered my nerves. I knew Levi was messing with me, but he’d succeeded in getting me completely flustered in front of a friend of his I barely knew and a _teacher_ I had to see every week, and now I was finding it incredibly difficult to make my fingers press the correct points on my phone screen to get me to where I wanted to be. When I finally managed to open up the short video, I put the phone face up on the table and slid it forward, still not raising my gaze. I kept my eyes on my food as I heard the phone being lifted from the table, followed by a light gasp.

“Wow, Eren, this is great! Are you majoring in animation?”

I glanced up at that. It wasn’t a question I’d been anticipating, though I possibly should have been, but I finally had an opportunity to voice a thought that had been festering quietly in the back of my mind for the past week. My voice came out in a quiet mumble as I was still feeling rather bashful.

“I hadn’t really decided before, but now I think... yeah. I think that’s what I want to do.” I glanced from her to Levi, whose smirk had faded as he was now looking at me with some kind of interest. I turned my gaze back to Zoe. “I really like being able to capture the character of someone through the way they move, I think I’d like to be a character animator.”

She nodded enthusiastically and smiled at me. “That’s really great, Eren. And you could definitely do it, this is really good.”

“Oi,” there was a soft slap sound and it took a moment for my mind to register the fact that Levi had just flicked Zoe in the arm, “enough with the teacher talk. The kid’s on his Christmas break, he doesn’t need his tutors discussing his career path with him now.”

Erwin finally spoke then, and I kind of wish he hadn’t. He spoke calmly, addressing Zoe, but his words made me freeze on the spot and I felt the colour draining from my face.

“So, I take it you’ve got something to do with Levi’s new boy toy being young enough that he hasn’t even decided his college major yet?”

_New boy toy._

Levi had told me he slept around. He’d implied I was different from the guys he’d been with just for sex, and I’d thought things like this dinner solidified that. But Erwin’s words made me doubt everything. If he could sit here at dinner with me and presume I was some kind of fuck buddy, then did that mean others who _had_ held that title had sat here before me? And the fact that he called me the _new_ “boy toy” made me think about something I hadn’t thought about before – whether or not this was the first time Levi went after someone with such a big age gap. Did he just prey on unsuspecting young men? Was it because they were easy? Had more stamina? Did he have a fetish for breaking in virgins or something? I started to feel sick, and for a second I thought I was going to have another panic attack.

“Erwin, you fucking shit.”

I snapped my eyes back to Levi at the sound of his voice. He was glaring daggers at his blond-haired friend.

“Eren’s a friend. And a good one at that. You fucking _know_ I wouldn’t bring some fucking sleazeball I met at a gay bar to this. I haven’t invited anyone but you two since...” He trailed off, and I caught a glimpse of something in his eyes. Sadness? Regret? I wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t anything positive. He continued on softer than before, and with less emotion. “Don’t freak the kid out by saying shit like that.”

Hange had gone quiet, watching the exchange, and Erwin held his hands up defensively.

“Alright, alright. I didn’t mean it so offensively. I just think it’s a little... unorthodox. I mean he’s what, half your age?”

I gritted my teeth and bit back a response. “I’m right here.”

I could feel my brows furrowing into a frown as Erwin turned to me, but all he did was offer me a soft smile. Levi looked up at me and sighed, before standing up from his seat and picking up his plate.

“Who’s up for dessert?”

\-------------------------------------

The rest of the evening passed smoothly, and with a lot less tension. We had our dessert (which tasted just as nice as dinner, or maybe even nicer – if such a thing was possible) and then watched _It’s A Wonderful Life_ from Levi’s couches, Zoe and Erwin on one with myself and Levi on the other. We all left together, wishing Levi a Happy Birthday and a Merry Christmas, and I declined Erwin’s offer of a ride home, choosing to walk instead. Levi’s apartment block wasn’t all that far from the university campus, and it was a bright moonlit night.

It was a peaceful walk home, just me and my thoughts.

Overall, it had been a weird night. I think part of me had hoped or expected the evening to make my thoughts or feelings about Levi clearer, but for the most part it just confirmed how confused I was. But I did know I still wanted to be around him. I still wanted him in my life. I was also still attracted to him, but even more conflicted than before about the age gap now that I knew exactly how big it was.

But did his age really matter? He was still Levi, still a guy I’d grown to trust ten times faster than I did with anyone else, still a guy who could make me feel like a horny schoolgirl and like someone who really mattered all at the same time, still someone I wanted to be close to, still a person who put my feelings before his own, who I knew wouldn’t do anything to push me into anything I wasn’t ready for. Still a person I knew I was falling for. Hard.

I hadn’t even noticed the small smile forming on my face until Marco pointed it out when I got back to the dorm.

“Looks like someone had a good Christmas.”

I blinked at him, taking in his grin but not sure what he meant.

“Huh?”

He shrugged, “You just look much happier than you usually do.”

“I do?” I could feel the smile now, as it spread across my face. “Yeah, I guess I am pretty happy.”

“So who’s the lucky girl?”

I grinned at him. Was I that obvious?

“Guy,” I said, and registered the slight surprise on his face, “And he’s just a friend... for now.”

“That’s the spirit!”

I flopped down on my bed.

“How did things go with you and... your friend?”

Now he looked giddy. Actually giddy. And I felt really happy for him.

“Really well. Oh my god, you were so right Eren. He’d been waiting for me to make a move the whole time but he managed to convince himself I wasn’t gay. I’d say that was stupid but I kind of did the same thing with him, I guess.”

“So are you two together now?”

He nodded happily and lay down on his own bed, sighing.

“It feels nice, being able to call him my boyfriend.”

I stared at the ceiling.

“Yeah. That sounds like it’d be nice.”


	14. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Eren spends his day after Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty short, but I wanted to post something today because someone who I know follows this story is having a pretty stressful day and there's nothing I can actually do to help so I'm gonna settle for attempting to give them something to cheer up/distract themselves with (this is the part where I'd say "you know who you are" if I actually thought you knew who you were, but I guess anyone who's been blogging about having a bad day today can now go speculate as to whether or not I'm hiding amongst their tumblr followers). Anyway, I like it regardless of length so hopefully you guys will too.

I woke up pretty content the next morning. December 26th. I had no plans whatsoever for the day, Armin was still out of town and Marco was already gone before I woke up. I just laid in bed for what felt like days, thinking about Levi, and thinking in such an innocent way that there was no doubting what I felt for him was more than just sexual desire.

I rolled out of bed at around 12pm, after deciding to spend my day playing video games again. I threw on a hoody and some loose jeans over my pyjamas and headed down to the café to grab a pastry and a coffee for breakfast. I tossed the jeans pretty quickly when I got back to the dorm, but kept the hoody on as I settled in front of my laptop and took a bite of my food. I loaded up my favourite MMO and checked my active quests before choosing what path to embark on.

I was picking some berries by a forest when I came across a familiar avatar. I grinned as I clicked into the chat box to type.

**TitanShifter:** _Well if it isn’t my favourite hobbit @Heichou_  
 **Heichou:** _Have a nice sleep, brat?_  
 **TitanShifter:** _Would have been nicer if we’d been together ;)  
_ **Heichou:** _Wow, flirting with me in the universal chat, how romantic._

I was in the middle of typing a response when my skype alerted me to an incoming call and my grin grew wider. I grabbed my headset and answered the call.

“Gooood morning!”

“Good afternoon.”

I snickered at that.

“Yeah, yeah. Did you enjoy your birthday?”

“No, I had to spend it with some loudmouth teacher and one of her bratty students.”

“If you really want, I can start declining your invitations.”

“Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, I can hear it from here. And get your shitty ass back in the game.”

I clicked back into the window to see Levi’s avatar repeatedly punching mine in the knee. Fucking hobbit. So I kicked him back.

“Oh, you’re awake now, are you?”

“Shut up. Do you want to quest or what?”

“Yeah, let’s go run some dungeons or something.”

We continued our banter as we played together, and I don’t think my grin ever left my face. I really liked just talking to Levi. Even when we were basically just throwing half-hearted insults at each other. It felt right.

After a while our banter and small talk subsided and turned into more intimate conversation. We talked a bit about the night before, and he asked me about my anxiety attack and assured me that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t feel comfortable doing and he would never take offense to me turning down an invitation if it was going to cause me stress. I thanked him genuinely for it, most people aren’t that understanding and if I’d acted the same way in front of anyone else they’d probably have thought I’d gone mad. But Levi was blunt and honest and I knew if he was saying that, he really meant it. And it gave me the confidence to broach a subject that had been in the back of my mind since last night.

“So, can I ask you something?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see it.

“ _May_ I ask you a question. It might be really personal, I’m not sure.”

“I’m intrigued. Ask.”

I hesitated for a minute before asking him.

“Last night, when Erwin called me your boy toy-”

“I thought I already made it clear that I don’t put you in the same category as the sleazeballs he was talking about.”

“Oh, yeah, no, it’s not that. I mean, I was kind of anxious about that at the time, but I know you’re honest with me and really I can’t imagine you inviting guys you were just looking for sex from to something as intimate as your birthday dinner.”

“So what was it you were going to ask?”

“Well... It’s just... You said I was the first person you invited there since... and never said what it was since. I was wondering what happened, since you looked pretty sad. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. The whole comfort level thing goes for you too.”

There was silence on the other line for a while and I thought for a second that he’d actually disconnected mid-call to avoid the topic, but then I heard a soft sigh and I gulped. I was suddenly feeling a lot more nervous than I had been even when I was trying to bring it up, and I couldn’t exactly pinpoint why.

“You’re the first person I invited there since my last real relationship.”

There was silence again, and it took me a moment to realise that was all I was getting.

“Oh.” I decided to be bold, but winced slightly as I asked, “Did you love him?”

“Her. And I don’t know. I thought I did at the time, but I don’t know.”

I mulled over that for a second, trying to come up with a response that might get me more information. I was a little taken aback to hear it was a girl, since he’d only ever talked about being interested in dudes, but being bisexual myself it didn’t really bother me.

“Did she love you?”

Another sigh, louder this time.

“She loved a version of me.”

I could feel my brow creasing as I thought that one over. Levi didn’t seem like the type to show different versions of himself to different people. He seemed like a “what you see is what you get” kind of person. Though maybe he had become that because of whatever had happened in that relationship.

“Why did it end?”

“Because you can’t fix someone who doesn’t think they’re broken, and a relationship will never last if your main goal in it is to change the other person.”

Well, that made more sense.

“So the version of you she loved was the one in her head.”

He chuckled. Okay, that meant we were getting somewhere.

“You understand some things pretty well for a dumb kid.”

“I resent that.” A pause. “What was her name?”

“Petra.”

There was silence between us for another while as we continued through the dungeon we were in, and eventually I decided to speak up again.

“Well, don’t hate me for saying this, but I’m a little glad you two broke up, otherwise we might not have met. Or, at least, you wouldn’t have been pulling all those sexy poses in life drawing class. Those are really gonna help with any erotica I have to illustrate. Might get a job in the animated porn business with those sketches.”

He laughed again, louder this time.

“Pity I took some of them, I’ll have to model like that for you again some time so you can build up your porn portfolio.”

“I think I’d like that.”


	15. Dance Class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, this has been a long time coming. I'm really sorry about the long gap between chapters. And unfortunately it might be a while again until the next one. Just life getting in the way of stuff. But I promise I'm not giving up on the story, even if it means irregular and spaced out updates until I've finished in college in May and have time to actually write without worrying about getting shit done for college and work. 
> 
> A couple more familiar faces are showing up in this chapter, so enjoy.
> 
> Oh, and for those of you who are interested, I recently set up a tumblr under the same name as my username on here, so you can find me at FarmlandTensions.tumblr.com
> 
> I hope you all had a good Christmas.

I didn’t see Levi again until the following Monday. We talked on Skype and via text a bit over the weekend, and he’d told me about the dance group he taught. Apparently that’s how he’d met Petra originally, she was a member of the first dance class he taught, and had been a member of the current group until their relationship had ended.

While I knew Zoe and Erwin were his only close friends, I was still filled with a kind of nervous excitement at meeting the dance class. He might not consider them close, but they had known him a lot longer than I had, and they’d seen him go through his last relationship. I felt almost like I needed to impress them. Like their opinions on our relationship would be important to him even if he insisted they weren’t.

I got to the studio early again, but this time it was already open. I walked in to find him bundled up in a peacoat and a thick scarf that came up to his ears as he went about setting up the room.

“Good morning!”

He glanced up at me as he pulled a long bar away from the wall and into the middle of the room.

“Punctual again, I see.”

“As if I’d ever be late to see you,” I grinned at him.

He shot me a bemused glare.

“You’re certainly chipper this morning.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

I walked over and set my bag down on the same couch I’d sat on the first day I’d come here, and glanced back over my shoulder when I heard the door opening again. Two guys were walking in, both at least five inches taller than me. One had long blond hair tied back in a neat ponytail, and the other had short dark hair gelled into a faux-hawk, and both were older and quite a bit more attractive than I am. They had nothing on Levi, of course, but knowing he spent a lot of time in the presence of guys that good-lucking wasn’t doing much for my self-confidence.

They had been talking to each other and laughing at something, but stopped once they spotted me. The blond guy smiled brightly at me and walked over to greet me.

“You must be the artist,” he stuck out his hand and I shook it nervously as he continued, “I’m Erd, and this is Gunther.”

The dark-haired guy nodded at me and I returned his nod a little hesitantly.

“You can speak to them too, brat. Don’t go all mute on me now.”

I blushed at Levi’s words and looked over to him. He’d taken off his coat but had left his scarf on over his t-shirt, and I have to say he looked more than a little adorable like that. I couldn’t hold back the smile it brought to my face, and for some reason that helped lessen my anxiety. I looked back to the two guys in front of me.

“I’m Eren. It’s nice to meet you.”

Erd smiled brightly back at me. “It’s nice to meet you too. Anyone who manages to get through to Mr Serious there is great in my books. I hope you stick around.”

I blushed harder at the comment. Trust friends of Levi to be as blunt as he is. And the fact that he knew I was getting through to Levi, whatever that means, meant that Levi had been talking about me to these guys, and that was something that made me feel a swelling in my chest. I don’t know if it was pride or joy or excitement, but it was a good feeling. It felt like positivity was threatening to burst straight out of my chest, from a place I was more used to feeling an anxious tightening than anything else.

The guys stripped off their jackets as they made their way to the bars Levi had set out, and started to stretch their arms and legs along them. Levi busied himself with setting up music while they were stretching, and I sat down and began to sketch.

After a short while, there was a series of banging behind me, and I jumped in my seat, but Levi and his dancers seemed unphased.

“You’re late,” Levi stated bluntly without looking up.

I turned to see another (less attractive, thank god) man stumbling through the doorway and seemingly falling over his own bag. I had to hold back a snicker as I thought about how ungraceful he looked despite most likely being a dancer. He muttered some apologies as he shut the door and started getting ready to stretch with the others, and then paused like they had when his eyes met with mine.

“Who the fuck is this?”

I flinched at his tone. If Levi had talked about me to his dancers, it seemed like this guy hadn’t been there for it, or hadn’t been paying as much attention as Erd, and either option seemed plausible considering how arrogant he seemed. I couldn’t imagine Levi putting up with him enough to confide in him, and I couldn’t imagine him caring enough to listen to anything anyone had to say.

“I’m Eren, Levi’s friend.”

He scoffed at that. He actually fucking scoffed at me. And he looked down his nose at me, literally. There was something about this guy that just rubbed me the wrong way and brought my anger to the forefront with little effort. It was almost as bad as Jean.

“A _friend_ , huh? He doesn’t normally bring his fuckbuddies to class.” He turned his attention to Levi, “Is this one making you work for it?”

I clenched my teeth and looked over to Levi, who wasn’t reacting. He wasn’t even mad. For a second, that made me even more angry, before I told myself to calm down and think about the situation. When Erwin had suggested the same thing, Levi had been quick to defend me. And now he wasn’t even bothered by it. That meant he either valued Erwin’s opinion of me much more than this guy’s, or he expected this guy to be as much of a douche as he was being. Or both. Both seemed likely.

“Get stretching or I’ll make sure you tear every ligament you have.”

I blinked a few times before Levi’s threat registered in my brain. He’d said it so calmly and without looking up from what he was doing. I glanced back at the new guy and the look of sheer terror on his face told me it probably wasn’t entirely an idle threat. He practically through himself at the bar and started stretching as quickly as possible, and I drew him angrily, exaggerating his unattractive features and giggling softly at my own work.

“Nice work, very accurate.”

I jumped a little and looked up. Levi was standing behind me looking over my shoulder at my drawings.

“Fuck you’re light on your feet.”

He smirked at me.

“I’m a dancer, Jaeger. What did you expect?”

I rolled my eyes and he walked over to stand between the bars, and suddenly he was listing off strings of words that had no meaning to me. I think some of them were English, and some of them were… French, maybe? Either way it was all gibberish to me, but the dance group were listening intently and taking it all on board, and suddenly they were doing moves in sync, leaning on the bars and moving along them, and Levi was circling them and occasionally tapping their legs with his feet or their shoulders with his fingers to correct mistakes.

While it was good for me as an artist to watch them stretch and warm up, and see how they used their muscles and how they were supposed to be poised… It was more interesting for me as a person to see how Levi interacted with other people. He was very professional, very dignified, very obviously the superior in the situation, and yet there were times when his playful nature showed through – moreso with the two who had arrived first than with the third guy, who I learned from Levi’s scolding was named Auruo. Every now and then I’d pause from my work just to watch him, to take in his facial features and the subtlety of his expressions.

After an hour of warm-up, he moved the bars back to the side of the room and the guys stretched some more before they started practicing routines. Levi came over and sat beside me once they started. He shifted his gaze between my drawings and their dancing, and was silent aside from the occasional comment on a move that could be improved. He didn’t say a word to me for the most part, until they were running through routines a second time.

“Not so sensual this time, huh? Good.”

I looked up from my page to his face and my eyes immediately met his. He was smirking again, and I felt like my heart stopped then and there. The power he had over me was astounding, and I can’t begin to describe how lucky I am that that power belonged to someone who wasn’t going to use it to destroy me.

“I guess I need a sensual muse to bring out that side of my drawings.”

“Smooth, Jaeger.”

I blushed and bit my lip in a failed attempt to hide a smile, but felt my blush deepen when his gaze flickered to my mouth and back up.

“You need to stop being so cute or this being friends thing isn’t going to work too well.”

I swallowed hard and looked away from him before I responded.

“Maybe we don’t have to just be friends.”

I didn’t look back at him, and I don’t know how to explain it but I could _hear_ his raised eyebrow before he answered.

“Is that so?”

I fought back a grin and kept my eyes trained on the dancers in front of me as I continued to draw.

We didn’t speak again, and he continued to throw out the odd command or correction before he stood up and started demonstrating better steps for sections that weren’t working and I suddenly had my sensual muse back.

He gave me a lift back to the dorms again, after we’d said our goodbyes to everyone else, and he left me with a sweet smile and a “See you soon, Eren.” I don’t think anyone else could make me feel so happy just by saying my name.


	16. New Years Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god I should really be doing some college work right now.

Have you ever woken up with a purpose? Like you went to sleep on just an ordinary day and then suddenly the next morning you have this goal, this one set goal and it’s all you can focus on, and all you want to do is accomplish that one thing.

I’m a pretty determined person. In school I’d almost say I got along on determination alone. I was never the brightest kid or the most enthusiastic about learning, but once I set my mind to something I would go all out. I still do, it’s just in my nature.

Anyway, I’m getting away from myself here.

The dance class I drew at in Levi’s studio was on a Monday. Monday December 30th, to be precise. And the little conversation we had set the cogs in motion, helped me realise some things. And I guess what they say about dreams sorting out the thoughts and events of a day are true, because by the time I woke up those cogs had stopped turning and the end result was just sitting there waiting for me to catch up to it.

It was perfect timing too, because if you wake up and the first thought in your head is “I’m going to kiss him”, what better day for it to be than New Years Eve?

Of course, it would have been better if we’d actually made plans together, but then I probably would have overthought things anyway. But knowing what day it was made the initial thought into something much more specific – “Our first kiss will be at midnight.”

\------------------------------------------

“But how do I convince him to come out with us?”

There was an exasperated sigh on the other end of the line.

“I don’t know, Eren. Do you know if he has any plans already?”

I had told Armin my plan. Of course I had. I’m not sure I was even fully conscious before I texted him telling him to get his ass on Skype. And I wasn’t even bothering to sit at my desk right now, choosing instead to lie on the bed and stare at the ceiling as I spoke (I was, however, lying the opposite way round on the bed to usual, since the cable for my headset wouldn’t reach the other end of the bed).

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I doubt he even celebrates New Years. I don’t think he’d do anything for his birthday or Christmas if he wasn’t friends with Zoe.”

“Well, maybe she gets him to do shit for New Years too.”

I thought about it for a minute, but it didn’t seem likely. Not that I knew the guy amazingly well, admittedly. But it just didn’t seem like his thing. And I didn’t think she’d push things by making him celebrate something else only a week after his birthday.

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

Another sigh met my ears.

“Well, do you have her number? If she’s able to get him to celebrate other stuff maybe she’d have some tips for you.”

That made sense, but unfortunately I didn’t have her number.

“Don’t have it.”

“Okay, well let’s go through this again. You’ve decided you want some kind of relationship with this guy, and you want to start it by being his midnight kiss. You don’t want him to _know_ you’re going to kiss him until midnight, but he’s antisocial or hyper-introverted or both and doesn’t like celebrations and you have no way of convincing him to come out and celebrate with us without being incredibly conspicuous. That about right?”

I shrugged even though he couldn’t see it.

“I guess so.”

There was silence for a long moment, and I didn’t mind it. This was Armin I was speaking to, long silences always meant he was going over plans or ideas in his head, and the longer the pause, the better the plan. Usually.

“You were at his apartment on Christmas.”

“I was.” Where was he going with this?

“Why don’t you go there tonight?”

This time I was the one who paused, only when my brain tries to mimic Armin’s it usually fails miserably. This was no exception.

“What are you talking about?”

“Go to his apartment tonight. He doesn’t celebrate New Years as far as you know, so he should be there. Don’t tell him in advance because then he’ll know something is up, and don’t show up too early. You could come out with us before and then get to his apartment just a few minutes before midnight, maybe even wait til the one minute mark and then kiss him at the end of the countdown.”

I ran over the plan a couple of times in my head. It made sense. It depended on Levi being in his apartment and the timing all working out, but it could work. We’d have to plan it very carefully, but Armin was great with stuff like that.

“There is one little problem though.”

I frowned. This was his plan, why was he pointing out problems?

“What?”

“Mikasa.”

Oh. Right.

“Shit. I forgot.”

“I think you should just tell her. I mean, if you’re serious about this you’re going to have to tell her at some point. Now is probably as good a time as any.”

He was right. Of course he was right. He was always. Stupid intelligent friend, always right about everything. Knowing he was right didn’t stop me from groaning loudly though. If I have to be the stupid one in the friendship, I’ve got to at least be able to protest through vague noises, right?

“Alright, I’ll tell her tonight. I don’t think she’ll be happy though.”

“She’ll be happy. She’ll be worried about you and probably a little over-protective, but if you’re happy she’ll be happy for you.”

Stupid intuitive friend.

“Fine. Well I’ll see you later and we can figure out the details, alright?”

“Sure thing, Eren. I’ll see you then.”

I pulled off my headphones after he ended the call and shut my eyes. This was it, I was going to do it. I had my best tactician on the job to make sure everything went smoothly and I already knew Levi was interested so it’s not like I really had to fear rejection. So why was I still so nervous about it?

I’d like to think it was nervous excitement. I mean, that basically is what it was. But at the time it was hard to see the definition between the nerves and the excitement, because that one move would solidify things. No more skirting the edges, no more harmless flirting or not being sure what I wanted. If I went through with this, that was it, we were going to be a couple, I couldn’t just show up at his door at midnight and kiss him and then pretend I still just wanted to be friends. And that was scary, it was. It’s fucking terrifying making that jump from friendship to a romantic relationship, even when you know the other person is up for it in advance. But I had made up my mind before I even woke up and I wasn’t going back on it now.

\---------------------------------------

I texted Mikasa and asked her to come over to my dorm a while before we were to meet Armin.  I knew I had to tell her about Levi, and I wanted to get it over with before I had to discuss plans with Armin.

I could tell she knew something was up the minute I opened my door. She was eyeing me suspiciously, and the little crease between her eyebrows and the way the end of her scarf was twirled around two of her fingers told me she’s been trying to figure out why I asked her to come over early.

I took a deep breath before I stepped back and motioned for her to enter the room.

“We need to talk.”

Her slight frown deepened and she didn’t move, so I tried again.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise. I just want to talk to you about something.”

She kept her frown, but let the scarf go and entered the room cautiously. I closed the door gently behind her and sat down in my desk chair as she sat on my bed. We were both completely silent while I tried to figure out how to start this conversation. I had been running it over in my head since my conversation with Armin earlier, but I hadn’t exactly had as much time to plan as I might have liked, and I was a little distracted by thoughts of later tonight too.

“So there’s a guy.”

Well, that was a lame way to start. I almost cringed at myself as I said it. But it was a start, and she stayed quiet so I could go on.

“His name’s Levi. We’re… friends.”

“Friends.”

“Yes. Just friends, for now. But I know he wouldn’t say no if I wanted to be more than that.” Deep breath, stay calm Eren. “And I’ve decided that I would like that.”

She nodded softly, understanding.

“How long have you known him?”

I scratched the back of my neck absent-mindedly as I responded to her. This question was easy, but knowing Mikasa, if she kept going they’d get progressively more difficult to answer.

“A few months, we met in my life drawing class a while ago and then started talking through this MMO and-“

“Your gaming buddy’s name was Jean, not Levi.”

I flinched. Okay, so she got to the tough stuff earlier than anticipated. Really that was my fault though. She always had a sharper memory than mine.

“Yeah, about that…” My eyes were facing away from her now, but I could feel her glare prickling my skin. “That guy you met wasn’t really my gaming buddy. Please don’t get mad, I just… we weren’t that close back then and I didn’t really want you to meet him before I knew how I felt about him.”

She didn’t respond and after a few seconds I chanced glancing back at her face. The crease between her brows was gone and her whole expression looked a little softer.

“I understand. So you know how you feel about him now?”

I let out a small breath I didn’t realise I was holding.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I do. I mean, not fully or whatever, but I know I don’t just want friendship. And I decided this morning I’m gonna go tell him how I feel.”

She smiled a little at that, and I felt my eyes narrow instinctively.

“What?”

“You’re so cheesy, Eren. You’re going to go kiss him at midnight, aren’t you?”

I glared at the floor indignantly as I felt my cheeks flush.

“So what if I am.”

I may have been embarrassed, but any leftover tension I had was washed away when I heard her chuckling softly.

“That’s actually really sweet. Who knew someone so hotheaded could be so stupidly romantic.”

“You’re taking this rather well.”

I looked back up to see her shrugging.

“Why wouldn’t I?” She smiled softly at me. “You’re my brother, and I’m always going to be protective of you. But you’re an adult now, and you’ve obviously thought this through, _and_ you came to me on your own to tell me about it. If this guy makes you happy, then that’s great.”

We just smiled at each other for a moment before she broke the silence.

“If he hurts you though, he’s getting his teeth kicked in.”

I laughed at that, and we stood and hugged before leaving to go to Armin’s.

\-------------------------------------------

“I can’t do this.”

“Yes you fucking can Eren, now ring the damn buzzer.”

I shook my head rapidly. The nerves had caught up to me now that we were standing outside Levi’s apartment building. The butterflies in my stomach had turned into a hurricane and I felt like I was going to be sick.

Armin sighed heavily at my response. We’d been standing outside the building for a good ten minutes at least. Armin had obviously accounted for me being a chicken though, because we still had five minutes before the clocks struck midnight. He stepped forward and my eyes widened as he pressed a buzzer. The voice that answered wasn’t Levi’s.

“Hello?” Came a timid, old, and definitely female voice.

“Hi. I’m sorry to disturb you ma’am, but I have a friend here who would very much like to surprise your neighbour with a New Years kiss, and we were hoping you could buzz us into the building so we can keep it a surprise til we get to the door.”

That clever little shit.

The door made a bussing sound and I pulled it open as we heard the voice respond again.

“Good luck, sweety!”

I stopped when I realised Armin and Mikasa weren’t following me in, and turned to face them.

“Go. This is your day, now go.”

I nodded and turned towards the stairwell to make my way up to Levi’s floor as quickly as possible. I checked the time on my phone as I reached his corridor, and it turned 11:59 as I was looking at it. This was it, this was happening.

The door beside his opened as I was walking by, and a little old lady smiled at me and then placed her radio on the floor in the corridor and turned up the volume so I could hear a New Years countdown going through the fifties. I glanced up at her and she gave me a wink before going back inside her apartment.

I froze outside Levi’s door, but got myself to reach out and knock as the countdown was at thirty-six. Then I waited.

Thirty-two.

Thirty-one.

Thirty.

Twenty-nine.

I glanced down the corridor and back to the door.

Twenty-eight.

Twenty-seven.

Twenty-six.

There was no way he was out, right? What if he _did_ have New Years plans? What then?

Twenty-five.

Twenty-four.

Twenty-three.

I could feel my heart beating in my chest and throat, and the hurricane in my stomach was dissipating out into a kind of emptiness.

Twenty-two.

Twenty-one.

Twenty.

Nineteen.

Eighteen.

Seventeen.

I reached up and knocked again, louder this time.

Sixteen.

Fifteen.

Fourteen.

I heard footsteps inside.

Thirteen.

Twelve.

Eleven.

They were coming to the door, and I could almost feel how pissed off he was.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

The door swung open and he started talking without even looking at me.

Seven.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing-“

Six.

“- knocking at my door at fucking midnight?”

Five.

“Who in their right mind comes-“

Four.

“- banging on people’s doors at this time of night?”

Three.

I put my hand on his cheek and saw his frown soften as he realised who I was.

Two.

I leaned in.

One.

I could feel his breath on my lips and I let my eyes flutter closed.

Zero.

Our lips met.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but it was enough time for the butterflies to come fluttering back and my cheeks to colour. I pulled back and smiled at him.

“Happy New Year.”

He tried to hold back his smirk, but I could see it.

“You fucking brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said it'd be a while before I updated again, but considering the date this part's set, I didn't want it to be horrendously out of date, so I finished it up and I'm posting it now.
> 
> As per usual, I track the tags fic: chiaroscuro and farmlandtensions on tumblr, and I have a blog under the FarmlandTensions too.


	17. New Years Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy, I'm back. Yeah. Sorry for the long hiatus. I'm going to try to update more frequently now for the summer, and I'm working on a couple of other stories too if you're interested in reading more of my work. 
> 
> The goal is to have all three fics completed by the end of the summer, but I don't know how well that will go. And I don't really know what I'll be doing in life after August, so there's that.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. I'm tracking the tag fic: chiaroscuro on tumblr, and you can find me on there under the username FarmlandTensions.

 

I woke up with a smile on my face.

It took a moment for my brain to process the fact that the object I could feel draped over my waist was an arm, and the surface my back was pressed against was definitely not the wall in my college dorm. 

I blinked sleepily and let my eyelids fall shut again, my mouth forming words without my brain’s permission.

“I thought I’d be the big spoon.”

There was a silence that led me to believe I was the only one awake before I heard a mumble from behind me and felt hot breath on the back of my neck.

“You can be the big spoon when you don’t show up unannounced in the middle of the night.”

I smiled lazily and turned my body around to face him.

“Good morning.”

He returned the greeting with a lazy kiss, and I found myself wishing this could be what I woke up to every morning.

He’d pulled me into the apartment by the scruff of my collar after our first kiss, and many more had followed. Once it had become clear I would be spending the night, I shot off a quick text to Armin, only to find out he and Mikasa had left anyway because they hadn’t expected me to return. 

Levi and I hadn’t done much other than kiss and cuddle, and I barely remember actual words being said but I’m fairly certain I managed to express my feelings about him and our potential relationship. If I hadn’t, I doubt I would have woken up in his bed. 

And yet there I was, his arm wrapped around me and his heavy-lidded eyes staring into mine as the most casual smile I’d ever seen him wearing graced his features.

He was in pyjama bottoms and a loose t-shirt, just as he had been when he’d answered the door to me the night before. And looking at his choice of clothing in the morning made me think about how he might look if that t-shirt was replaced with one of my own. The mental image had me biting my bottom lip and wondering if I had a size kink I had yet to discover.

“What are you thinking about?”

His low drawl drew my gaze back up to meet his.

I flashed him a grin.

“How nice it is to wake up next to you.”

His eyes searched mine, flicking from one to the other.

“I don’t know what you see in me, but fuck I’m glad you see it.”

The usual crease between my eyebrows reformed as he spoke.

“What are you talking about? You’re perfect.” I leant forward and pressed my lips to his “You’re so fucking perfect.”

I couldn’t even estimate how long we spent in the bed, just basking in our shared closeness. It felt like an eternity of paradise. And what followed wasn’t exactly what I’d consider a bad morning either. Levi cooking breakfast for me in his baggy t-shirt and the same precious apron he’d worn on Christmas Day. 

Frankly, he looked adorable, and the food was amazing. I mean, I’ve had nice scrambled eggs before but I’ve never met anyone who actually puts seasoning in them, and as pretentious as it sounds they were amazing. I might blame it on post-coital bliss if we’d actually had sex. But really I think Levi’s just a genius in the kitchen.

That line of thought made something dawn on me.

“Armin and Mikasa probably think we had sex.”

Levi set his own plate down at the table and sat opposite me.

“Do you normally have sex on the first date?”

“No, and I wouldn’t exactly call that a date anyway. But I don’t normally spend the night with someone on the day we first kiss either.”

“Hmm,” He went silent for a moment as he chewed some food, then took a swig of orange juice before responding coolly, “Well we could always have sex now if you really want.”

I almost choked on my eggs, and looked up as I was clearing my throat to see him smirking at me from across the table. His smirk became a lopsided grin as I felt heat rushing to my cheeks and averted my eyes, choosing to poke at my eggs with a fork and failing miserably at feigning nonchalance.

“It was a joke, kid. I mean, if you really want to go at it then I’m not exactly going to complain. But if you don’t know by now that I see you as more than someone to fuck then you’ve really got your head screwed on wrong.”

My gaze shot back to him as my eyes widened. That’s not what I thought at all, and I didn’t want him to think I had any doubt about his intentions, but he spoke up again before I could protest.

“I’m willing to go as slow with this as you need. Don’t rush yourself. We’ll get to all that when you’re ready for it.”

He obviously decided the conversation was done then, going back to his toast as I watched him fondly. So far, I was definitely not regretting my decision to show up on his doorstep on New Years Eve. 

I pulled out my phone as I chewed on another mouthful of scrambled eggs and shot quick good morning texts to Armin and Mikasa. I got a quick response back from Mikasa mentioning that she had been wondering if she needed to come over and murder Levi but was glad to see I was still alive, and a reply from Armin shortly after just wishing me a good morning and saying he hoped I had a nice night. 

I was shooting off an affirmative reply to Armin when I felt a pair of arms snake around my neck. It was going to take a while for me to get used to how silently and gracefully Levi moved, but it definitely wasn’t unpleasant. I tilted my head back and received a slightly awkward upside-down kiss before he murmured against my lips.

“You’re going to need to keep a toothbrush here if you’re planning on doing this again.”

His nose wrinkled up when I snorted in response. For some reason, I didn’t doubt he was serious. But it was still amusing.

He pulled me out of the chair and led me over to the couch, where he pushed me down and then settled himself between my legs with his back against my chest. 

Something caught my eye and I looked up to see a frame I didn’t recall being there the last time I was in his apartment, and I felt my eyes widening as I realised that its contents were familiar. 

“Is that…”

He turned his head to look at me, and then followed my line of vision.

“Oh. Yeah, that one was my favourite. Must be the most sensual.”

I blushed a deep red as I buried my face in his shoulder.

“I can’t believe you framed my life drawing. If you want some artwork you could just ask me to do something more finished and less rough.”

He hummed for a moment before responding.

“No, I like it. It’s very raw. I can look at that and it feels like I’m seeing a little bit of how Eren Jaeger’s mind works.”

I looked up at the drawing again. He wasn’t wrong. It was very much in my style, and it was definitely one of my better pieces of life drawing, not to mention one of his more provocative poses. Though I’d never had a chance to critique it myself as I hadn’t seen it since that day I’d stormed out of life drawing.

“Will you take it down if I draw you something better?”

He was silent for a moment, and I could hear his smirk when he responded with a “Nah,” before he picked up the remote and turned on the TV, and we settled back on the couch to relax in each other’s company for the rest of the day.


	18. Levi's Aftermath

  


It had been a long time since I’d been in a relationship.

What happened with Petra kind of fucked me up. For a while I didn’t think I was capable of trusting another person, never mind wanting to share my life with them.

Eren was a pleasant surprise.

Everything about him was just so.. warm.

And now he was mine.

That New Years Day had been the first time in years that I’d woken up next to someone and hadn’t gotten up to leave silently as soon as I did. I didn’t feel any need to distance myself from him. His closeness was a comfort I didn’t know I needed.

And I hadn’t been getting my hopes up with him before. I didn’t want to let my mind think it was okay to let someone in when they didn’t want to be there. And what the fuck would a gorgeous brat like him see in a grumpy old fucker like me?

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the kiss we shared on New Years Eve.

I know he wanted it to be all romantic in the moment. But it was so much more than that. It meant he returned my feelings. That I could finally move on from fucking strangers to get out my frustrations. Because I finally had someone who I cared about who actually wanted to be with  me.

Eren didn’t want to change me. He didn’t want me to be anything but myself. And that was perfect.

* * *

  


I called Hange after he finally left that evening. We’d spent the whole day together but he didn’t want his friends getting worried, and he didn’t want his sister asking why he’d spent two nights over at my place at the very beginning of our relationship.

I lay back on my couch and stared up at his drawing on the wall as I listened to the dial tone coming from the phone pressed against my ear.

“Levi! I can’t believe you missed all the fun last night, you’re going to have to come out for New Years one of these decades.”

I smirked to myself as she spoke.

“Don’t worry, shithead, I had plenty of fun without you.”

There was silence on the line, and I knew better than to interrupt her while she was thinking.

“Are… are you smiling? Oh my god, you’re smiling, I can hear it. What happened? Tell me everything!”

I lifted my other hand and inspected my nails as I responded. Feigning nonchalance was easier in person than over the phone, but either way there was no chance I was going to be able to fight back the smile gracing my face.

“Nothing much happened really. I just got myself a boyfriend. No big deal.”

I held the phone away from my ear instinctively after that, and was glad I did seconds later when I heard the loud squealing coming down the line. I brought it back once the sound had died down.

“Did you go out and find him? Did he come to you? Did you two already have plans I didn’t know about? Oh my god, did you kiss at midnight? LEVI, THAT’S SO ROMANTIC. You fuckin’ softie, I knew it.”

“Oi, calm down, Assface.” I waited for silence before continuing, “The brat showed up at my door at midnight.”

“Aw, Leviii. That’s so cute.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“You should have called me the second he left to tell me.”

I felt nervous about answering that, but it didn’t stop a grin from breaking out.

“I did.”

More silence, and I closed my eyes as I waited for it to sink in.

“Oh my god.” I could hear her grin too, “So what did you two lovebirds get up to all day, or is the answer too R-Rated for my innocent little ears?”

“Shut up. We just watched TV and… cuddled.”

“I knew it. I knew you were a cuddler all along.”

“Whatever, shit-for-brains.”

“Levi,” her tone turned serious and I bit my lip as I felt my brow furrow, “I’m really happy for you.”

The worry dissipated quickly and was replaced with a contented calm.

“Yeah, I know.”

We both stayed silent for a few moments before I opted to speak again.

“Oi, shit-for-brains, I got a new boyfriend and you haven’t invited yourself over for a sleepover so we can pretend to be fuckin’ schoolgirls again. Is something up?”

“Pfft. Since when do I need an invite? I thought it was a given, I’m already on my way. Just need to stop and get some ice cream.”

“Pick up some popcorn too, I’ll get Netflix up.”

“See you soon, honey-bun.”

* * *

  


Hange arrived about half an hour after that call ended, and we spent the rest of the evening talking and watching some shitty romcom we found online. She crashed on the couch and I found her sprawled out on the floor when I went to get breakfast the next morning.

I stepped over to her first and prodded her shoulder with a toe.

“Oi, Hange, get up you fucking moron.” 

I took her groan to mean she was awake, and set out a bowl and some orange juice for her at the table.

Ten minutes later she finally found her voice as she addressed me through a mouthful of cereal and completely ignored the look of disgust I was sure I was aiming in her direction.

“Y’know, that midnight kiss shit was pretty romantic.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“You’re probly gunna have to do somefin just as romantic back.”

I eyed her with suspicion. The thought hadn’t really crossed my mind, and it wasn’t really appealing to me now either. Not that I didn’t want to be romantic, but I didn’t want to go out on a limb with romantic gestures just because Eren did the same to me. One-upping each other in the romance department wasn’t something I intended to include as a regular factor in our relationship.

“What are you talking about?”

She swallowed and I thanked any deity that would listen that she didn’t shovel another spoonful into her face before she continued speaking.

“I’m just  saying … it might be nice and you might feel nice if you plan something romantic for the next New Years-type occasion to show him you appreciated the gesture and you’re not just a big sack of grumpy for him to dote on because we all know you’re secretly a romantic sap yourself.”

“And what occasion would that be?”

I regretted the question as soon as I saw the grin spread across her face, but what she had said before did make some amount of sense to me anyway.

“Valentine’s Day, Levi. You’ve got six weeks to think about it.”

I glared at her but nodded slowly anyway. Doing something romantic with Eren for Valentine’s Day definitely didn’t sound like a  bad idea to me. And based on his New Years Kiss, it didn’t seem like something he would be opposed to. And like she said, I’d have six weeks to consider it, so I could back out at any time.

“I’ll think about it.”

The grin didn’t leave her face but she kept her mouth shut as she obviously knew the conversation was complete.

Now I just had to come up with something to do for Valentine’s Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 6 and 12 were Levi POV chapters, so I figured, why not 18? I suck at chapter titles, though. Sorry.


End file.
